It is better for the students to live away from the home during their university studies rather than staying with their parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is often argued
that
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apply
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whether
for
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apply
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students
to live
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living
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away from
the
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apply
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home
for
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apply
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during
their
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apply
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university
is good or not. In my opinion, I completely agree that it is good for
students
and will provide reasons to support my argument in
this
essay. First of all, one of the main
reason
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reasons
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why I agree
it
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apply
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is that
university
students
need to learn how to stand
by
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on
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their own
foot
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feet
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.
This
is because
students
tend to lean on their
parents
under
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for
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their protection.
For example
, when I was in
university
, I expected my
parents
to do thousands of works
instead
of me; going to
bank
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the bank
a bank
show examples
,
sending
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and sending
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parcles
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parcels
, though I could do it by myself.
As a
result
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result,
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I found out that
leaving
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living
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apart from their home makes
students
have strong responsibilities. Another point to consider is that it helps
students
to set their own point of view.
In other words
, they need time to be away from their
parents
. I read an article that highlighted people are getting lose its characteristics
due to
over protection
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overprotection
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. To avoid that, leaving away from their
parents
is essential. In conclusion, I strongly believe that it is crucial for
university
students
to live away from their
home
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homes
show examples
, as they
could
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can
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grow
Verb problem
develop
show examples
strong responsibility and mindset.
Submitted by semimama on

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grammar
Try to avoid minor grammatical mistakes and typos. For instance, 'reason' should be 'reasons', 'parcles' should be 'parcels', and 'getting lose' should be 'losing'.
vocabulary
Use more varied vocabulary and complex sentence structures to demonstrate a higher level of lexical resource and grammatical range.
structure
The essay has a clear and relevant introduction and conclusion, summarizing the main points effectively.
content
The main points are clear and supported with examples, which enhances the argument.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • independence
  • self-reliance
  • time management
  • organizational skills
  • diverse social environments
  • broader network
  • professional contacts
  • accommodation
  • financial burden
  • emotional support
  • psychological support
  • stress
  • anxiety
  • academic pressures
  • familial support system
  • distraction
  • focused study environment
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