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Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

Exposure to international media such as films, TV and megazines has significant impact on local culture. What do you think has been the impact? Do you think its advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#exposure #media #films #tv #megazines #impact #culture
Some
people
 believe that if local
culture
 gets exposure to foreign media
such
 as TV, films and magazines, it can get a great
imapct
Correct your spelling
impact
. I believe that the impact is really great, and the advantages outweigh the disadvantages because despite having negative feedback from the international
people
, local
culture
 gets funding from the government because of the exposure. The impact of foreign media exposure
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 local
culture
 is huge because it gets promotion.
People
 from all over the world know about the local
culture
, and sometimes only because of
that
Add a comma
that,
show examples
 they come to visit the country.
Moreover
,
people
 from that
culture
 get the opportunity for stage
performance
Fix the agreement mistake
performances
show examples
 in several cities around the world.
This
 trend
help
Change the verb form
helps
show examples
 them to earn foreign money, which enhances the economy of the country.
For instance
, the local Bengali song Bhatiali has got international recognition after being exposed to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Time magazine in 2019.
People
 from all over the world become interested in
this
 song and still
wants
Correct subject-verb agreement
want
show examples
 to hear them.
Submitted by rahman_rehana on

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task achievement
Ensure all parts of the question are addressed. While you discussed the impact of international media on local culture, it would be more comprehensive to elaborate on both advantages and disadvantages. For example, mention potential negative impacts and balance them against the positives.
coherence cohesion
Work on structuring your essay. Develop a clear introduction that outlines your main points and a conclusion that revisits them. This will help in creating a logically structured piece of writing.
coherence cohesion
Support your main points further. Adding more examples or elaborating on how international exposure strengthens the economy or culture would make your arguments more persuasive.
task achievement
The essay addresses the prompt, discussing the impact of international media on local culture clearly.
task achievement
There is a relevant example provided about the local Bengali song Bhatiali, which aids in illustrating the positive impact of foreign media exposure.
task achievement
The idea that international exposure can lead to economic benefits for the local culture is well-articulated and relevant.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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