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Band 5

The chart below gives information about journeys to school by children aged between 11 and 16 in the UK in one year

The chart below gives information about journeys to school by children aged between 11 and 16 in the UK in one year
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The depicted bar chart elucidates the way and the accommodation
students
Use synonyms
 aged 11 to 16 travelled to
school
Use synonyms
 over a year. From an
overall
Linking Words
 perspective, walking and taking the bus is the most picked by
children
Use synonyms
 with the nearest
distance
Use synonyms
 from
school
Use synonyms
, and
students
Use synonyms
 whose homes are far away choose to take a bus. The
distance
Use synonyms
 to
school
Use synonyms
 maximum of 1mile is mostly done by walking, 90% of
children
Use synonyms
 choose to walk, but
then
Linking Words
 it dropped drastically to 60% when it comes to 1-2
miles
Use synonyms
 and only 10% of
students
Use synonyms
 walk
due to
Linking Words
 2-5
miles
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
,
students
Use synonyms
 whose homes are more than 5
miles
Use synonyms
, do not choose to walk.
However
Linking Words
, the amount of
children
Use synonyms
 who used the bus
initially
Linking Words
 started at around 2% and
then
Linking Words
 the percentage increased to 10% when the
distance
Use synonyms
 was up to 1 mile. the percentage increase to 50% and increased drastically to around 68% when it comes to the furthest
distance
Use synonyms
.
Conversely
Linking Words
, cars used by
children
Use synonyms
 with close
distance
Use synonyms
 to
school
Use synonyms
 are about 10% and
then
Linking Words
 increased by around 23% for 1-2
miles
Use synonyms
. And
then
Linking Words
, increased to almost 33% when it comes to distances 2-5
miles
Use synonyms
 and experienced a decrease of about 10
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 at longer distances.
Lastly
Linking Words
, unlike the other transportation, the bicycle did not have a very clear percentage change over the entire
distance
Use synonyms
.
Students
Use synonyms
 chose to ride a bike under 7
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 with a home
distance
Use synonyms
 of under 1-5
miles
Use synonyms
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words students, school, children, distance, miles with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
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