It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at early age .punishment is necessary o help them learn this distinction. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? what short of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behaviour to children ?give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own lnowledge and experiences.

Nowadays
children's
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children
show examples
are
getting
Verb problem
having
show examples
difficulty
to
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with to
show examples
difference between right and wrong
therefore
teaching the new generation
the
Correct article usage
apply
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right and wrong at
early
Correct article usage
an early
show examples
ages
Fix the agreement mistake
age
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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is mandatory. Some people believe that punishing
children's
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children
show examples
will help to tackle
this
issue
whereas
others do not. In my opinion, I agree with the nation to help
children's
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children
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distinguish between
the
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apply
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right and wrong.
To begin
with, punishing
children
have
a
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an
show examples
essential
roles
Correct the article-noun agreement
role
show examples
with
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in
show examples
child personality building.
Moreover
, the inappropriate content on TV and social media is allowing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
children's
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children
show examples
to
exposed
Add a missing verb
be exposed
show examples
to many bad habits and
behaviors
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behaviours
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end
Correct pronoun usage
that end
show examples
up with disrespectful
attitude
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attitudes
show examples
.
Therefore
, punishments have a crucial effect on limiting
the
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apply
show examples
bad
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
. In instances, the new generation
are
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is
show examples
repeating the same mistakes all
time
Correct article usage
the time
show examples
.
However
,
punishment
can increase the awareness level to avoid repeating the same mistakes.
On the other hand
, parents and toters should be aware
about
Change the preposition
of
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the level of
punishment
in order to teach
children
lesson
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lessons
show examples
.
Furthermore
, excessive physical and word
destructions
Fix the agreement mistake
destruction
show examples
punishment
might have adverse
effect
Fix the agreement mistake
effects
show examples
ionchild personality.
Therefore
, the
child
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child's
show examples
confident
Replace the word
confidence
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level might affected
with
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by
show examples
violent
punishment
.
In addition
, parents and
teacher
Fix the agreement mistake
teachers
show examples
should avoid repetitive
punishment
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
children's
Change noun form
children
show examples
. A recent study in the USA provides information about the
children
with low confidence levels are exposed to severe destructive
punishment
.
To conclude
,
new generation
Add a hyphen
new-generation
show examples
punishment
plays a significant
roles
Correct the article-noun agreement
role
show examples
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
children
's
displine
Correct your spelling
discipline
.
However
, parents should focus on their self to avoid excessive destruction
punishment
.
Submitted by rahafalkhashti7 on

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task achievement
Your essay addresses the prompt and conveys a clear opinion on the matter. However, you need to improve the clarity of your ideas. Consider outlining your main points in a more organized manner.
task achievement
Enhance the use of examples to support your arguments. Including specific scenarios or personal experiences can strengthen your points significantly.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving sentence structure and grammar. For example, 'Children's are getting difficulty to difference between right and wrong' should be 'Children are finding it difficult to distinguish between right and wrong.'
coherence cohesion
Use transitional phrases more effectively to link your ideas and make your essay more cohesive. Phrases like 'In addition,' 'Moreover,' and 'Nevertheless' can help smooth the flow of your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction clearly states the topic and your stance on the issue, which provides a good starting point for your essay.
task achievement
You have made efforts to address both sides of the argument, which shows a balanced approach to the topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
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  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • moral development
  • disciplinary methods
  • corporal punishment
  • time-outs
  • loss of privileges
  • empathy
  • social responsibility
  • reinforce boundaries
  • alternatives to punishment
  • supportive approach
  • understanding approach
  • behavioral issues
  • positive reinforcement
  • consequences
  • modeling behavior
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