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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The table gives information about department and online stores in Australia in 2011.

The table gives information about department and online stores in Australia in 2011.
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The table chart illustrates information about the amount of
department
Use synonyms
 and online
shops
Use synonyms
 in Australia in 2011.
Overall
Linking Words
, the most noticeable index here is sales Revenue. The growth of both
shops
Use synonyms
 is given by
percentage
Use synonyms
. More people prefer to do business
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
online. More precisely, 67 and approximately 5 times more than
this
Linking Words
 is the amount of
department
Use synonyms
 and online
stores
Use synonyms
 respectively. There is no big difference in number, between the
stores
Use synonyms
 in profit. Both of them have around 830
stores
Use synonyms
. The number of
department
Use synonyms
stores
Use synonyms
 with a sales revenue is exactly 12700.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the number of online
stores
Use synonyms
 with sales revenue is 700
shops
Use synonyms
 more than
department
Use synonyms
stores
Use synonyms
.
Finally
Linking Words
, the
last
Linking Words
 one is the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of growth of both indexes. In
this
Linking Words
 section, we can see again the previous trend. Online
stores
Use synonyms
 have 2% more than online
shops
Use synonyms
. The
percentage
Use synonyms
 of increase in
department
Use synonyms
stores
Use synonyms
 is 4%. Analogically the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of online
stores
Use synonyms
 is 6%.

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 71%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words department, shops, percentage, stores with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • revenue
  • customer satisfaction
  • product range
  • convenience
  • accessibility
  • observable trends
  • shopping habits
  • preferences
  • traditional department stores
  • online shopping
  • significant differences
  • comparison
  • examination
  • analysis
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