Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types pf progress are equally important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
These days, many ruling bodies all over the globe give great importance to economic prosperity.
However
, a group of people support this
approach, whereas
, some think that other areas must be given equal importance too. In my viewpoint, the former notion is more persuasive and reasons to support my stance are elaborated in the following paragraphs.
To begin
with, those who advocate that other areas must be looked upto
opine that Correct your spelling
up to
economy
will flourish if we channelise our resources for development in Correct article usage
the economy
fields
of Medicine, Education etc. But, I do not consider it a wise approach.
Correct article usage
the fields
On the other hand
, those who support the
economic progress assert that if governments focus on economic well-being Correct article usage
apply
growth
of other sectors will follow it. In fact, when economical
Replace the word
economic
growth
comes, it brings new technologies and innovative means with it. To illustrate, China in the early sixties focused on building it's
economy and now they are pioneers in all the fields. Replace the word
its
Therefore
, rulers must priorities
economic progress.
Replace the word
prioritise
In addition
to this
, with economic growth
a nation can have global Add a comma
growth,
dominence
. Indeed, it has been seen that countries that are economically strong are globally Correct your spelling
dominance
dominent
Correct your spelling
dominant
also
. To illustrate, the USA has been dominating the world, because they are a
economic superpower. Change the article
an
Thus
, this
way can benefits
a nation in many ways.
Change the verb form
benefit
To sum up
, undoubtedly, other fields like medicine, education
are Correct word choice
and education
also
equally important but economic growth
can benefit a country in learning about new technologies and a noticable
global presence.Correct your spelling
noticeable
Submitted by mrsdns on
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task achievement
Ensure you cover both views in more depth. The essay briefly mentions the view that other types of progress are important but could elaborate more on this perspective.
task achievement
Use clear and varied examples to illustrate your points. The examples provided are valid but could be more specific and detailed for a stronger impact.
coherence cohesion
Improve the coherence by ensuring that each paragraph flows logically to the next. Some transitions between paragraphs could be smoother. For instance, you can use linking words/phrases to connect ideas better.
coherence cohesion
Engage in proofreading to eliminate small grammatical errors, such as “globally dominent” which should be “globally dominant”.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-structured with a clear introduction and conclusion, which is important for maintaining a coherent flow.
task achievement
The arguments are generally clear, and your viewpoint is well-presented and supported in the essay.
task achievement
You have addressed the topic and responded to both views, providing a balanced discussion before presenting your opinion.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.