IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

The charts summarise the weight measurements of people living in Charlestown in 1955 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts summarise the weight measurements of people living in Charlestown in 1955 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#summarise #weight #measurements #people #charlestown #information #features #comparisons
The bar charts compare the
weight
 measurements of
people
 living in Charlestown in 1955 and 2015.
It is clear that
 in
both
years
, most
people
 20 to 29
years
 old maintained an ideal
weight
,
while
 the percentages of
people
 from 50 to 69
years
 were more obese. In 1955, a bigger
percentage
 of
people
 of all ages were
underweight
 than in 2015, where
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 bigger
percentage
 of
people
 across the
age
 groups were obese. In
both
years
,
people
 in
40
Correct article usage
the 40
show examples
-69
age
 groups had bigger percentages of obesity; in 1955, 5-10% of these
people
 were obese and in 2015, 25-60% of these
people
 were obese. 0-10% of younger
people
 were obese
both
Change preposition
in both
show examples
years
. 20-40-
year
-old
people
 were more likely to be at an ideal
weight
both
Change preposition
in both
show examples
years
;
for example
, 70% of these
people
 in 1955 and 2015 were at an ideal
weight
. In 2015, obesity dominated the chart over all
age
 ranges. It started from 2% of 20 to 29-
year
-olds, followed by 10% of
30-to-39
Add a hyphen
30-to-39-year-old
show examples
year
 old
people
.
In addition
, 25% of 40 to
49
Add a hyphen
49-year-olds
show examples
year
 olds, 51% of 50 to
59
Add a hyphen
59-year-olds
show examples
year
 olds and the highest
percentage
 with 60% of 60 to
69
Add a hyphen
69-year-olds
show examples
year
 olds
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
suffered from obesity.
However
, in 1955, only 5-9% of
people
 in all
age
 groups were obese. In 1955, there were bigger percentages of
people
 who were
underweight
. Every
age
 group had at least 15% of
people
underweight
. In 2015, only one group had a bigger
percentage
 of
underweight
people
, 20%, and that was
people
 from 20-29.
Submitted by jessica.pastor.87 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 86%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words weight, people, both, years, percentage, underweight, age, year with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 7 times.
▼

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