IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The chart below shows the percentage of people born in and outside of Australia living in cities, towns, and rural areas in 1950 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features of the graph and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the percentage of people born in and outside of Australia living in cities, towns, and rural areas in 1950 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features of the graph and make comparisons where relevant.
#percentage #people #australia #cities #towns #areas #summarise #information #features #comparisons
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The bar graph illustrates the rate of Australian citizens who
had
Verb problem
were
show examples
 born
out
Change preposition
apply
show examples
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
in their country and had been living in
cities
Use synonyms
,
towns
Use synonyms
, and rural
areas
Use synonyms
 between 1950 and 2021
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 the ratio of new-born
people
Use synonyms
 who were born in Australia and outside Australia preferred
cities
Use synonyms
 more than
towns
Use synonyms
 and rural
areas
Use synonyms
 in both years.
According to
Linking Words
 the given data, in 1950, the presidents who chose to live in
cities
Use synonyms
 considered the highest residents about 60% outside and 98% inside
while
Linking Words
 40% and 25 had lived in rural
areas
Use synonyms
.
Additionally
Linking Words
, it was just 10% of new birth
people
Use synonyms
 interested in
towns
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, in 2021, individuals were keen on
cities
Use synonyms
 as the top significant place to start their life with 80% and over 60% of
people
Use synonyms
 born outside and inside the country. (respectively).
Moreover
Linking Words
, the rate of residents in the country living in
towns
Use synonyms
 and rural
areas
Use synonyms
 was the same
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
approximately 18%
While
Linking Words
 outside the number of
people
Use synonyms
 decreased slightly.
Submitted by sheikha1996mohammed on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words cities, towns, areas, people with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: