IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

The chart below shows the percentage of people born in and outside of Australia living in cities, towns, and rural areas in 1950 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features of the graph and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the percentage of people born in and outside of Australia living in cities, towns, and rural areas in 1950 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features of the graph and make comparisons where relevant.
#percentage #people #australia #cities #towns #areas #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The bar graph illustrates the rate of Australian citizens who
had
Verb problem
were
show examples
 born
out
Change preposition
apply
show examples
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
in their country and had been living in
cities
,
towns
, and rural
areas
 between 1950 and 2021
Overall
,
it is clear that
 the ratio of new-born
people
 who were born in Australia and outside Australia preferred
cities
 more than
towns
 and rural
areas
 in both years.
According to
 the given data, in 1950, the presidents who chose to live in
cities
 considered the highest residents about 60% outside and 98% inside
while
 40% and 25 had lived in rural
areas
.
Additionally
, it was just 10% of new birth
people
 interested in
towns
.
On the other hand
, in 2021, individuals were keen on
cities
 as the top significant place to start their life with 80% and over 60% of
people
 born outside and inside the country. (respectively).
Moreover
, the rate of residents in the country living in
towns
 and rural
areas
 was the same
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
approximately 18%
While
 outside the number of
people
 decreased slightly.
Submitted by sheikha1996mohammed on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words cities, towns, areas, people with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
▼

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: