Some jobs are based at a single work place where the hours are the same each day, while other jobs involve frequent travel and irregular working hours. Discuss the advantage of both types of job and give your own opinion about which one is best.

Two
tpyes
Correct your spelling
types
of these
jods
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jobs
have different
advantage
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advantages
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introducing jobs are
holding
Wrong verb form
held
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at a single
work place
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workplace
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in the same area
of
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apply
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all day,it will
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
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spend more time
to
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working
show examples
work
also
high
work
effciency
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efficiency
.
Freqently
Correct your spelling
Frequently
doing
work
of the same nature will improve employee
work
effciency
Correct your spelling
efficiency
.
On the other hand
frequent
traveller
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travellers
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and irregular
work
hours,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
will
make
Verb problem
allow
show examples
people
can get
Verb problem
apply
show examples
more different new horizons,improve
Correct pronoun usage
their social
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social
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their social
show examples
skills and explore
potential
Add an article
the potential
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. The aviation and non-aviation business of
Hong
Kong
International Airport provides employment opportunities and brings income , which directly contributes to
Hong
Kong
's economy.
as well as
industrial and commercial support and professional service industries.In my
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option,
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option
Correct your spelling
opinion
show examples
a single
work place
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workplace
show examples
in the same area will be better.
Lets
Replace the word
Let's
Let us
show examples
give some
example
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examples
show examples
, in
Hong
Kong
people
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people's
show examples
goal is to pursue a stable income and live a stable life. Things in
Hong
Kong
are expensive,and
people
only have to pay for rent ,living and transportation expenses, civilian jobs are very suitable for
Hong
Kong
people
.
Submitted by asllchkied on

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coherence cohesion
Try to clearly structure the introduction and conclusion of your essay. This will help in establishing a logical flow, making it easier for the reader to follow your arguments.
task achievement
Ensure your main ideas are clearly defined and expanded upon. For instance, use clear topic sentences for each paragraph and elaborate on each point with detailed examples and explanations.
task achievement
Pay attention to grammatical mistakes and sentence structure. Proofreading your essay can help catch these minor errors and improve clarity.
task achievement
The essay addresses both advantages of having a stable job and the benefits of an irregular job with travel-related responsibilities.
task achievement
You provided relevant examples, such as the mention of Hong Kong's job market, supporting your argument about the preference for stable jobs in certain economies.
coherence cohesion
It's great that you expressed your opinion about which job type you prefer and provided reasons for it. This adds a personal touch to the essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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