Some people think there are not many things individuals can do to resolve environmental problems, while the others believe that in order to tackle environmental problems individuals also need to take action. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
There is an
on-going
debate where some Correct your spelling
ongoing
people
argue that there is not much an individual can do to solve environmental issues whereas
others suggest that individual action is mandatory to solve the problems. I stand with the latter view because I believe that a person has the ability to not only create small changes but also
share awareness
to
other Change preposition
with
people
.
On one
hand, it is true that in order to create Correct article usage
the one
better
environment, a Add an article
a better
big
number of Correct word choice
large
people
is needed to succeed. Moving on your own to solve the problems will take a long time to show a significant change to the world. For instance
, a person from a rural area is aware of the trash polluting the river, so he has the intention to clean it. However
, working alone might be hard and will consume a lot of time. Therefore
, a vast number of people
is needed to bring development to the environment.
On the other hand
, individual
with environmental Add an article
an individual
the individual
awareness
is the start of better
life. A person who deeply cares about the environment will mind their actions before doing something that may damage it, Add an article
a better
such
as putting trash on
the bin and using paper straws. These small acts will subconsciously influence Change preposition
in
people
around them to to
the same thing which in the end will increase the number of Correct your spelling
do
people
with environmental awareness
. For example
, many Indonesian celebrities have been actively influencing people
of
the importance of reducing the use of plastic. Change preposition
on
As a result
, these individuals successfully bring the
Correct article usage
apply
awareness
of environmental issues and encourage people
to solve the problems.
In conclusion, while
some people
think that individuals are not capable enough to resolve environmental issues, I believe that they have the power to make small changes and spread awareness
to other people
which might influence a majority of people
to do the same.Submitted by ameliahanakaru01 on
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Task Achievement
Try to balance both views more evenly in your discussion. Currently, the essay seems to lean more towards the belief that individual action is essential, with less emphasis on the opposing viewpoint.
Coherence and Cohesion
Improve the linkage between sentences and ideas for smoother transitions. Although your points are clear, at times the connection between them can be strengthened.
Task Achievement
Provide more varied examples that can also illustrate the opposing view. This can include instances where individual action might not be as effective without collective effort.
Introduction & Conclusion Present
The introduction and conclusion are well-structured, clearly presenting your stance and summarizing your argument effectively.
Supported Main Points
You’ve provided relevant examples to support the main argument, showcasing that individuals can inspire change in environmental awareness.
Logical Structure
The essay presents a clear position and supports it with logical reasoning, making it persuasive.