A lot of money is spent nowadays searching for oil. As the world's oil resources will eventually run out, it would be more logical to spend some of this money on developing new sources of power, such as wind and solar. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#money #oil #world #resources #sources #power #wind

Because

oil

such

a precious fuel a great deal of

money

is spent looking for it. Some people believe that

this

is counterproductive as

oil

is finite so

therefore

we should spend some of

this

money

advancing new power sources. I agree with

this

point and think that we should stop

focussing

Correct your spelling

focusing

show examples

oil

supplies

as it is both unsustainable

Correct your spelling

and

show examples

harmful to the environment.

Oil

is not only very expensive but it is

also

one

of the most commonly sold commodities on the planet.

For

this

reason

Add a comma

reason,

show examples

many people invest great sums of

money

in locating and extracting it.

Furthermore

, countries that have been able to find

oil

supplies

have seen a huge rise in their GDP and a corresponding rise in their population’s living standards.

However

oil

is not a renewable energy

sources

Fix the agreement mistake

source

show examples

and

one

day the earth’s

supplies

will be depleted.

For

this

reason

Add a comma

reason,

show examples

it is not logical for us to continue being dependent on

oil

and should

instead

devote time and

money

Change preposition

show examples

the development of sustainable alternatives. These alternatives already exist in the form of wind, hydro and solar power but need to be invested in to meet the global demand for energy. Another issue with our reliance on

oil

is the effect that it has on the environment. The burning of fossil fuels like

oil

one

of the key causes of climate change.

For

this

reason

Add a comma

reason,

show examples

many people argue that, rather than looking for new ways of extracting

oil

, its use should be greatly limited. They argue that, if we do not address the problem now, many parts of the world will be uninhabitable in the future. In conclusion, despite the financial benefit for those

that

Correct pronoun usage

who

show examples

find

supplies

oil

, I would argue that we need to end our reliance on it. The environmental problems that it causes are too great to be ignored and, given that it will

one

day be depleted anyway, we need to start using alternatives now. 329

Submitted by bidingmehakjot on Thu Oct 03 2024

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task achievement

Provide more specific examples or case studies to support your argument on the benefits of renewable energy.

coherence cohesion

Ensure smoother transitions between paragraphs to enhance the logical flow of ideas.

task achievement

The essay presents a clear introduction that outlines the main argument.

coherence cohesion

The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and reiterates the writer's position.

coherence cohesion

The essay maintains a logical structure with distinct introduction, body, and conclusion paragraphs.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

330 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

finite
renewable energy sources
expenditure
compromise
sustainable
environmental impact
infrastructure
economic sustainability
dependency
fluctuating prices
stimulate
job creation
vested interests
transition
reluctance

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Fully explain your ideas

You are planning to take a vacation. Write a letter to a friend. In your letter Describe the vacation spot you have chosen Explain how you plan to spend your time there Invite your friend to join you on your vacation.

Some people argue that long distance relationships never work. What are the reasons and what could be the solutions?

Some people think that the best way to reduce crime is to give longer prison sentences. Others, however, believe there are better alternative ways of reducing crime. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

These days it is much easier for many people to travel to different countries for tourism than in the past. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.