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Writing Samples
Band 7

In recent times, economic growth has helped many become richer, both in developed and developing countries. However, those in developed countries are not as happy as they were in the past. Why is this? What can be learned from this? (Write 250 words.)

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In recent decades, even though economic growth has made
people
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 in developed countries wealthier
but
Correct word choice
apply
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, their levels of
happiness
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 have not increased in proportion. The primary factor driving
this
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 phenomenon is the rising economic inequality, which causes many individuals to feel they are not benefiting from the
overall
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 wealth of society.
In addition
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, social comparison, especially through social media, leads
people
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 to feel inferior, even if they are living stable lives. Social media presents idealized versions of others’ lives, which can make individuals feel like they are falling behind, even though their situation might be perfectly fine. Another important reason behind
this
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 is the pressure from capitalism and consumerism.
People
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 are required to work harder in an increasingly competitive environment, which leads to greater stress and burnout. At the same time, consumerism encourages
people
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 to seek
happiness
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 through material possessions, which often provide only short-lived satisfaction, leading to a continuous cycle of dissatisfaction and desire for more. The focus on acquiring more goods and wealth,
instead
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 of finding contentment in what one already has, leaves
people
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 feeling unfulfilled.
Moreover
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, the individualistic nature of modern society, which values personal success over social connections, has resulted in more loneliness and increasing mental health issues.
People
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 are becoming more isolated, and the emphasis on individual achievements has reduced the importance of building strong, meaningful relationships with others. From
this
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, we can learn that economic wealth is not the true measure of
happiness
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. Policies that focus on improving quality of life, like reducing inequality, supporting mental health, and balancing work and personal life, are important. On a personal level, focusing on relationships and being content with what we have could be the key to long-lasting
happiness
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task achievement
Try to incorporate more specific examples or data to strengthen your arguments, which will provide better support for your points.
coherence and cohesion
Consider using more cohesive devices to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs. This will enhance the logical connection of your ideas.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the topic well and presents a clear viewpoint on the relationship between economic growth and happiness.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction provides a concise overview of your main argument and sets the stage for the discussion, leading to an effective conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Economic growth
  • Material wealth
  • Affluent societies
  • Social cohesion
  • Isolation and loneliness
  • Work-related stress
  • Professional expectations
  • Aspirations and reality
  • Environmental degradation
  • Sustainability
  • Consumerism
  • Comparison
  • Life balance
  • Mental well-being
  • Community relationships
  • Sustainable development
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