Some people say it is important to keep your home and your workplace tidy, with everything organised and in the correct place. What is your opinion about this?
At present numerous individuals consider that cleanliness at
home
and career place
is important.
Similarly
, I agree with this
assertion will
examine the reason why Correct word choice
and will
this
is viable according to
me.
Firstly
the most important reason why I believe that ordering in work
Correct your spelling
the workplace
place
and home
is beneficial for improving Change preposition
at home
mind
. Add an article
the mind
To begin
with
Add a comma
with,
marshaling
main personal goods at Change the spelling
marshalling
home
and career place
and its effect is the most important subject. Nowadays, people have a lot of busy in their life
and use many things in their careers and homes. Fix the agreement mistake
lives
therefore
not only regulation is necessary for home
order
but Fix the agreement mistake
orders
also
it makes sense of
peas Change preposition
to
of
their mind. Change preposition
apply
For
example
an international newspaper recently published news that 71% of the folks have peace in being tidy. Adding that the neat environment of the active Add a comma
example,
place
causes people have
a lot of Add the particle
to have
concentrate
in kind of Replace the word
concentration
work
whit a calm brain.
Although
it is said that sorting in house and work
office causes person can find every lost goods
easily.
Change to a singular noun
good
For
example
the researchers are indicating that finding objects depends on Add a comma
example,
clean
environment. Add an article
a clean
the clean
Never the less
I realize that the world Correct your spelling
Nevertheless
are
improving Change the verb form
is
to
ward cleaning, especially at Change preposition
apply
home
and work
Correct your spelling
workplace
place
.
To conclude
, undoubtedly tidy
Correct article usage
a tidy
home
and neating
workplace Correct article usage
a neating
provides
positive things. Correct subject-verb agreement
provide
Thus
lassume
that Correct your spelling
assume
every one
is improving their way of life currently Replace the word
everyone
according
cleaning Add the preposition
according to
home
and Correct pronoun usage
their home
work
Correct your spelling
workplace
place
.Submitted by aksoysana on
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clarity
Improve the clarity and comprehensibility of ideas by structuring sentences more simply and directly. For example, the first sentence could be more straightforward. Instead of 'At present numerous individuals consider that cleanliness at home and career place is important,' consider 'Many people believe that keeping homes and workplaces tidy is important.' This makes the sentence clearer and easier to understand.
task achievement
Enhance the support of your main points with specific examples or studies. While there is a reference to a newspaper study, adding more details or context would strengthen your argument. For instance, specify which newspaper or credible source the study was from and any additional findings that back your point.
coherence
Maintain logical structure throughout the essay. Some sentences are fragmented and disrupt the flow of ideas. Better transitions between ideas and paragraphs would improve coherence. Ensure each paragraph clearly relates to the overall argument and maintains a logical order.
introduction conclusion
Your essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, summarizing the main points effectively.
task achievement
The topic is addressed directly, and your opinion is clearly stated, which aligns well with the task response criteria.
task achievement
You've included a mention of external research, which strengthens your argument by showing engagement with real-world data.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.