Nowadays more and more older people who are looking for a position have to compete with younger people for the same jobs. What problems does this cause? What are some possible solutions?

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Nowadays finding a
job
is becoming an increasingly difficult process.Even
middle aged
Add a hyphen
middle-aged
show examples
people
have to compete and keep trying to get a
job
. I’m going to tell the factors contributing to
this
trend and the next steps to the problem.
This
problem is caused by a member of reasons, but the main one is the imbalance between the supply and demand of jobs,which leads to insufficient employment
opportunities
in the
job
market.Sometimes it can be
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
of work and
opportunities
provides
Correct pronoun usage
that provides
show examples
this
problem.
Therefore
,if young workers want to find a
job
,they must compete with older,who have more experience time.Another reason is the rising
cost
of living.The
cost
of living is rising faster than
job
opportunities
,so
middle aged
Add a hyphen
middle-aged
show examples
people
are afraid that they will not have enough money for everyday and
also
they have families and another reason for needing some money.
For
this
reason
Add a comma
reason,
show examples
older
job
seekers need to compete with young
people
to be able to earn money. There are several measures that can be taken to help
solving
Change the form of the verb
solve
show examples
this
issue,which we mentioned above.
Firstly
,
government
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the government
show examples
must create more jobs.Empowerment means that the younger generation does not have to compete with
older
Correct article usage
the older
show examples
generation for certain positions.
Secondly
Add a comma
Secondly,
show examples
pension payments to older
people
can be improved, so that older
people
can retire on time when they reach retirement age,of course.In that case, they no longer need to work at that age,
for example
after 55. In conclusion,based on
above
Correct article usage
the above
show examples
evidence and analysis,it can be solved
anddemand
Correct your spelling
and demand
and demands
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
jobs and the rising
cost
of living are two main causes of unemployment competition in the workplace,between young and older citizens and these problems can be solved by creating additional employment
opportunities
,increasing pensions and reducing the
cost
of life.
Submitted by akzharkynzhamal on

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task achievement
Ensure that all parts of the task question are thoroughly answered with sufficient depth and detail.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples or case studies to strengthen the points made.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical structure to ensure that ideas flow smoothly. Use linking words more effectively to connect sentences and paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Provide more clarity in the explanation of causes and solutions to ensure they are easily understood by the reader.
task achievement
The essay identifies key causes of the issue, such as the imbalance between job supply and demand and the rising cost of living.
coherence cohesion
Introduction and conclusion effectively frame the discussion of the problem and summarize the main points.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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