IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

It is observed that in many countries not enough students are choosing to study science as a subject. What are the causes? And what will be the effects on society? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience.

#countries #students #study #science #effects #society
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There is a current distressing situation that in most
of
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apply
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the
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apply
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countries not enough
students
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 are choosing to study
science
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 as a subject. In fact, it has reached an alarming situation. The following paragraphs
would
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will
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 highlight various aspects of
this
Linking Words
 menace and propose a handful of remedial measures. There are myriad reasons which trigger the issue and even make it worse. One of the main causes of the problem is the lack of practical
knowledge
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.
For example
Linking Words
, a survey conducted by Oxford
university
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University
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 found that most of the
students
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 who were from
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science
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a science
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 background
is having
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have
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 practical
knowledge
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.
Therefore
Linking Words
, having practical
knowledge
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 is extremely crucial for
students
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. The solution is that provide motivational
program
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programs
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 in every
schools
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school
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.  Shifting towards another problem is that difficult to handle
modern
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the modern
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life style
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lifestyle
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.
This
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 is to say in
this
Linking Words
 contemporary era established
huge
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a huge
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 variety of technology which is common
in
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apply
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these days so it is important to have
knowledge
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 about it.
For instance
Linking Words
, our grandparents were totally unaware
about
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of
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the
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apply
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new technology like smartphones and
computer
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computers
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.
Meanwhile
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Meanwhile,
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 it leads to
the
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an
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 uncomfortable lifestyle. To
tackles
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tackle
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this
Linking Words
issues
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issue
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, scientific
knowledge
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 must
provide
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be provided
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 for all children.
Hence
Linking Words
,
science
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play
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plays
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the
Correct article usage
a
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 vital role in
these era
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this era
these eras
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.   In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 because of not choosing
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science
Correct article usage
a science
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 subject
students
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 suffer from uncomfortable
life style
Correct your spelling
lifestyles
show examples
 and lack of practical
knowledge
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yet
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
this
show examples
 can be solved by conducting motivational
program
Fix the agreement mistake
programs
show examples
.
Submitted by cranjal07 on

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coherence cohesion
Enhance the logical structure of your essay by ensuring each paragraph clearly follows from the one before it, starting with a topic sentence and linking ideas smoothly.
task achievement
Strengthen task response by developing your main points further with more detailed explanations and diverse examples. Try to cover a range of impacts more comprehensively.
task achievement
Work on the clarity and comprehensiveness of your ideas, ensuring each point is fully explained and contributes directly to answering the task question.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clearly defined and relevant to the topic.
task achievement
You have addressed both causes and effects, aligning well with the task requirements.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering, Math)
  • Perception of difficulty
  • Early exposure
  • Engaging experiences
  • Career opportunities
  • Practical applications
  • Financial constraints
  • Cultural norms
  • Critical fields
  • Innovation
  • Economic development
  • Global competitiveness
  • Public health
  • Environmental issues
  • Scientific progress
  • Educational standards
  • Biodiversity loss
  • Healthcare services
  • Medical research
  • Job prospects
  • Research and technology
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