Music is played in every society and culture in the world today. Some people think that music brings only benefits to individuals and societies. Others, however, think that music can have a negative influence on both. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
There is a current distressing situation that in most countries not enough
students
are choosing to study science
as a subject. In fact, it has reached an alarming situation. The following paragraphs will highlight various aspects of this
menace and propose a handful of remedial measures.
There are myriad reasons which trigger the issue and even make it worse. One of the main causes of the problem is the lack of practical knowledge
. For example
, a survey conducted by Oxford University found that most of the students
who were from a science
background have
practical Wrong verb form
had
knowledge
. Therefore
, having practical knowledge
is extremely crucial for students
. The solution is that provide motivational programs in every school.
Shifting towards another problem is that difficult to handle the modern lifestyle. This
is to say in this
contemporary era established huge
variety of technology which is common Add an article
a huge
in
these days so it is important to have Change preposition
apply
knowledge
about it. For instance
, our grandparents were totally unaware about
Change preposition
of
the
new technology like smartphones and computers. Meanwhile, it leads to Correct article usage
apply
the
uncomfortable lifestyle. To tackle Correct article usage
an
this
issues
, scientific Fix the agreement mistake
issue
knowledge
must be provided for all children. Hence
, science
play
Change the verb form
plays
the
vital role in Correct article usage
a
this
era.
In conclusion, although
because of not choosing science
subject Correct article usage
a science
students
suffer from uncomfortable life style
and lack of practical Correct your spelling
lifestyles
knowledge
yet
Correct word choice
apply
it
can be solved by conducting motivational Correct pronoun usage
this
program
.Fix the agreement mistake
programs
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task achievement
Try to present a balanced discussion of both views provided in the topic. The topic requires discussing both benefits and drawbacks of music, but the essay focuses solely on the issue of students not taking science subjects.
task achievement
Ensure that arguments presented in the essay are directly related to the topic. Make a clear link between the problems mentioned and the topic of music, or stick strictly to discussing the issue about science students if necessary.
coherence cohesion
Use linking words and phrases more effectively to enhance the coherence of your essay. This will help to ensure that ideas are more clearly connected and logically flow from one to another.
coherence cohesion
Develop paragraphs with examples and details that are relevant and directly support the main point of the paragraph.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion which frame the response neatly.
task achievement
You have attempted to identify problems and provide solutions, showing analytical thinking.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?