Music is played in every society and culture in the world today. Some people think that music brings only benefits to individuals and societies. Others, however, think that music can have a negative influence on both. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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There is a current distressing situation that in most countries not enough

students

Use synonyms

are choosing to study

science

Use synonyms

as a subject. In fact, it has reached an alarming situation. The following paragraphs will highlight various aspects of

this

Linking Words

menace and propose a handful of remedial measures. There are myriad reasons which trigger the issue and even make it worse. One of the main causes of the problem is the lack of practical

knowledge

Use synonyms

For example

Linking Words

, a survey conducted by Oxford University found that most of the

students

Use synonyms

who were from a

science

Use synonyms

background

have

Wrong verb form

had

show examples

practical

knowledge

Use synonyms

Therefore

Linking Words

, having practical

knowledge

Use synonyms

is extremely crucial for

students

Use synonyms

. The solution is that provide motivational programs in every school. Shifting towards another problem is that difficult to handle the modern lifestyle.

This

Linking Words

is to say in

this

Linking Words

contemporary era established

huge

Add an article

a huge

show examples

variety of technology which is common

Change preposition

apply

show examples

these days so it is important to have

knowledge

Use synonyms

about it.

For instance

Linking Words

, our grandparents were totally unaware

about

Change preposition

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

new technology like smartphones and computers. Meanwhile, it leads to

the

Correct article usage

show examples

uncomfortable lifestyle. To tackle

this

Linking Words

issues

Fix the agreement mistake

issue

show examples

, scientific

knowledge

Use synonyms

must be provided for all children.

Hence

Linking Words

science

Use synonyms

play

Change the verb form

plays

show examples

the

Correct article usage

show examples

vital role in

this

Linking Words

era. In conclusion,

although

Linking Words

because of not choosing

Use synonyms

science

Correct article usage

a science

show examples

subject

students

Use synonyms

suffer from uncomfortable

life style

Correct your spelling

lifestyles

show examples

and lack of practical

knowledge

Use synonyms

yet

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

Correct pronoun usage

this

show examples

can be solved by conducting motivational

program

Fix the agreement mistake

programs

show examples

cranjal07Thu Oct 03 2024

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task achievement

Try to present a balanced discussion of both views provided in the topic. The topic requires discussing both benefits and drawbacks of music, but the essay focuses solely on the issue of students not taking science subjects.

task achievement

Ensure that arguments presented in the essay are directly related to the topic. Make a clear link between the problems mentioned and the topic of music, or stick strictly to discussing the issue about science students if necessary.

coherence cohesion

Use linking words and phrases more effectively to enhance the coherence of your essay. This will help to ensure that ideas are more clearly connected and logically flow from one to another.

coherence cohesion

Develop paragraphs with examples and details that are relevant and directly support the main point of the paragraph.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion which frame the response neatly.

task achievement

You have attempted to identify problems and provide solutions, showing analytical thinking.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

227 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Harmony
Melody
Rhythm
Socio-cultural
Artistic expression
Cognitive development
Soundtrack
Moral implications
Acoustic ecology
Intellectual property
Authenticity
Commercialization
Media literacy
Sensory overload
Acculturation

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Music is played in every society and culture in the world today. Some people think that music brings only benefits to individuals and societies. Others, however, think that music can have a negative influence on both. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Your opinion

Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some are of the opinion that children below the age of 12 shouldn’t be allowed to have a mobile phone. Others believe that mobile phones are a useful tool for children of all ages. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

in some countries, younger people are neglecting their right to vote. what problems does this cause and what are some of possible solutions?