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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

It is important to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

#risks #lives
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Taking
risk
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risks
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 is considered
as
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apply
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crucial for career
prospect
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prospects
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 and personal relationships.
While
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such
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risks
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 can bring valuable
results
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, certain negative consequences might be inevitable to some extent. From my perspective, considering shaping the way of creative thinking and obtaining innovative
results
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,
upsides
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the upsides
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 of taking
risks
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 outnumber its downsides.
To begin
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 with, it would be wrong to overlook the adverse effects of making decisions based on
risks
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. First of all, taking
risks
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 can lead to irrevocable
results
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 in some situations, particularly during delicate moments,
such
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 as weeding, job interviews, investing or trading.
In other words
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, one simple
mistakes
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mistake
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 may cost
huge
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a huge
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 loss.
Additionally
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, throughout the thinking
procsess
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process
on
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of
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 taking
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risks
Add a comma
risks,
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 individuals feel stress and anxiety which in the long run
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this
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apply
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can
be resulted
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result
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 in health concerns.
However
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, by thinking in a detailed way,
this
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 cannot be seen as a serious problem.
On the other hand
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, in my opinion, taking
risk
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risks
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 is the most practical method. The
maing
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main
making
 benefit of
the
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apply
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taking
risks
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, regardless of whether it would
be resulted
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result
have resulted
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 in benefits or not,
enforce
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enforces
show examples
 risk-management skills and creative-approach skills. A telling example is that when the
results
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 of
risks
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 appear individuals learn not only from their mistakes
,
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apply
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 but
also
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 begin thinking outside of the box.
Furthermore
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,
it is clear that
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 innovations
ussually
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usually
 do not follow previous experiences and require some initiative capabilities.
Thus
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,
such
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 kind of decisions give an opportunity
of
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to
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getting
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make
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 grand discoveries. In conclusion,
although
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risks
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 carry some surprises, taking into account
of
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apply
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how they can be rewarding in terms of developing creative solutions and innovative abilities, I support the idea mentioned above.
Submitted by agayevnamiq842 on

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task response
Use varied sentence structures to enhance clarity and maintain reader interest. Consider avoiding overly complex sentences that can confuse the point being made.
task response
Enhance the development of your examples by providing more specific details or real-world contexts.
coherence cohesion
Avoid spelling errors by proofreading your work or using spell-check tools. Simple mistakes, like 'weeding' instead of 'wedding', can be distracting.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion which frame the argument effectively.
task achievement
The main points are well-supported with relevant arguments, showing an understanding of the topic's complexity.
task achievement
The essay demonstrates an ability to present a balanced view before reaching a reasoned conclusion, which is a key skill at higher levels of writing.
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