Some people feel that manufacturers and supermarkets have the responsibility to reduce the amount of packaging of goods. Others argue that customers should avoid buying goods with a lot of packaging. Discuss both views and give your opinion. (rewrite)

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It is often controversial about who holds the responsibility to reduce
packages
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today.
While
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some people argue that
manufactures
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manufacturers
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and supermarkets have a primary
role
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, others believe that customers should take an active approach. I partially support the former, for more incredible effects they can have on society when they dramatically alter the way of packaging regardless of the essential
role
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of
consumers
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as individual efforts raise awareness toward the
environment
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. On the one hand, producers should take the most significant
role
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in reducing
packages
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since they are able to cut down more waste, which is harmful to nature.
In other words
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, the growing use of
packages
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in selling food can extensively contaminate air and
lands
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land
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, which makes it more immediate for them to find
the
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apply
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alternatives including the introduction of eco-friendly bags before they spoil the Earth.
For instance
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, one supermarket is known to produce as many as 5 tons of waste made of plastics each month, making it the most dominant source of pollution.
Thus
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,
manufactures
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manufacturers
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are expected to preserve the
environment
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with
the
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apply
show examples
practical ideas to avoid the use of packaging.
On the other hand
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,
consumers
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also
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should play their part as their continuous efforts to reduce
packages
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make a significant change. Indeed, the choice of
consumers
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not only puts pressure on
manufactures
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manufacturers
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to promote eco-friendly acts but
also
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raise
Correct subject-verb agreement
raises
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awarness
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awareness
toward the
environment
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, encouraging more people to avoid unnecessary
packages
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. To illustrate
this
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, the idea of bringing their own eco-bags to store food is stimulating enough to draw the attention of others, providing them with a practical way to save the
environment
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. Thanks to frequent opportunities to communicate more easily, their
communucation
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communication
skills
advances
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advance
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greatly.
Furthermore
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,
such
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acts
also
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have a long-lasting impact once they get used to
this
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new habit, which leads to a significant drop in plastic materials. In conclusion, I somewhat agree that producers have the primary
role
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in reducing the amount of food packaging because of their dynamic effects on the
environment
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since
thery
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they
there
are used in various products.
However
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,
consumers
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also
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should be encouraged to make practical efforts in saving nature so others can follow to have an incredibly
postive
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positive
effect on the Earth.
Submitted by mizuho on

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coherence cohesion
Make sure each paragraph contains one main idea, supported by evidence and examples. In some parts, it felt like multiple ideas were being introduced without sufficient development. For example, the impact of communication skills could be clarified or expanded upon.
task achievement
Include more specific examples or statistics to illustrate your points. This would strengthen your argument and make it more persuasive.
task achievement
Work on slightly improving the clarity of some sentences. For instance, rephrase 'their continuous efforts to reduce packages make a significant change' to a clearer expression such as 'Their efforts to consistently reduce packaging can lead to significant environmental changes.'
coherence cohesion
The essay has a well-structured introduction and conclusion, effectively setting the stage and summarizing the discussed viewpoints.
task achievement
A balanced consideration of both sides of the argument, incorporating perspectives of both manufacturers and consumers.
coherence cohesion
Effective use of language to describe the potential environmental impacts of packaging, which adds depth to the argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Sustainability
  • Eco-friendly
  • Carbon footprint
  • Excessive packaging
  • Biodegradable materials
  • Corporate social responsibility
  • Consumer advocacy
  • Environmental stewardship
  • Waste reduction
  • Recycling initiatives
  • Green practices
  • Minimalist lifestyle
  • Resource conservation
  • Sustainable consumption
  • Packaging alternatives
  • Regulatory measures
  • Ethical choices
  • Environmental impact assessment
  • Renewable resources
  • Compostable packaging
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