IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In some countries, owning a home than renting one is very important for people Why might this be the case? Do you think this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

#countries #home #people #be #case #situation
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Nowadays,
people
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 prefer to own a
house
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 rather than renting one. But why has owning a
house
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 become so popular? Why do
people
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 avoid renting
houses
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? Obviously, there are several reasons for
this
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 trend which will be discussed in
this
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 essay. The most simple answer to
this
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 question is the fact that owning a home secures a permanent
accomodation
Correct your spelling
accommodation
 for a
life time
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lifetime
show examples
.
Furthermore
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, moving to another
house
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 may be challenging, as transporting large
furnitures
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furniture
types of furniture
pieces of furniture
items of furniture
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such
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 as sofas can be difficult.
Moreover
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, In some countries, it is only possible to rent a
house
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 annually.
Therefore
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,
people
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 have to rewrite the agreement once again next year for the same
house
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. If the owner
change
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changes
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 their mind
on
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about
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 renting the
house
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 next year, Families need to search for another one and
this
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 can be exhausting and
time-taking
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time-consuming
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.
Finally
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, some
people
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 tend to change the whole design of their
houses
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 once
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in awhile
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awhile
Correct your spelling
a while
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. As rented
houses
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 are not theirs, they cannot develop them or redesign them whenever they desire. It can be seen that the preference
of
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for
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 having a home is generally positive. Because it gives individuals peace of mind.
However
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, In some countries where
people
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 can buy multiple
houses
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, it can turn into
being
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apply
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a negative condition. When a single person purchases numerous homes, it means that so many families may not be able to buy a
house
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due to
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 the lack of accommodations. To address
this
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 issue, the government should introduce initiatives to prevent
people
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 from having more than only one
house
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. It may help
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society to have homes equally. In conclusion, owning a home can come with many advantages,
such
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 as accommodation security and freedom
at changing
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to change
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 the design.
Dispite
Correct your spelling
Despite
of
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apply
show examples
these benefits, It
also
Linking Words
 can turn into a nightmare in some countries where
people
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 are able to buy several
houses
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.
Thus
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, the number of
houses
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 available for sale
decrease
Correct subject-verb agreement
decreases
show examples
 and
then
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, some families cannot have their own
house
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.
Submitted by ava.saljoughi on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps frame your argument effectively. To improve cohesion, ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. You may introduce linking words or phrases to help guide the reader through your argument.
Task Achievement
You have addressed the task well and provided reasons for the trend of owning homes. To enhance your task achievement, try to integrate more specific examples or data to back up your points. This will add depth to your analysis.
Task Achievement
While your ideas are generally clear, placing added emphasis on expanding them could be beneficial. Try to delve deeper into your points to provide a more comprehensive overview.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are distinct and provide a good structure to your essay.
Task Achievement
The essay highlights a critical analysis of the societal implications of owning versus renting. This shows your ability to evaluate different aspects of the topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • ownership
  • renting
  • importance
  • sense of security
  • stability
  • financial investment
  • asset
  • customize
  • decorate
  • belonging
  • community
  • potential
  • future generations
  • long-term
  • cost advantage
  • control
  • living space
What to do next:
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