In some countries, owning a home than renting one is very important for people Why might this be the case? Do you think this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?
Nowadays,
people
prefer to own a house
rather than renting one. But why has owning a house
become so popular? Why do people
avoid renting houses
? Obviously, there are several reasons for this
trend which will be discussed in this
essay.
The most simple answer to this
question is the fact that owning a home secures a permanent accomodation
for a Correct your spelling
accommodation
life time
. Correct your spelling
lifetime
Furthermore
, moving to another house
may be challenging, as transporting large furnitures
Change the wording
furniture
types of furniture
pieces of furniture
items of furniture
such
as sofas can be difficult. Moreover
, In some countries, it is only possible to rent a house
annually. Therefore
, people
have to rewrite the agreement once again next year for the same house
. If the owner change
their mind Change the verb form
changes
on
renting the Change preposition
about
house
next year, Families need to search for another one and this
can be exhausting and time-taking
. Correct your spelling
time-consuming
Finally
, some people
tend to change the whole design of their houses
once Change preposition
in awhile
awhile
. As rented Correct your spelling
a while
houses
are not theirs, they cannot develop them or redesign them whenever they desire.
It can be seen that the preference of
having a home is generally positive. Because it gives individuals peace of mind. Change preposition
for
However
, In some countries where people
can buy multiple houses
, it can turn into being
a negative condition. When a single person purchases numerous homes, it means that so many families may not be able to buy a Unnecessary verb
apply
house
due to
the lack of accommodations. To address this
issue, the government should introduce initiatives to prevent people
from having more than only one house
. It may help the
society to have homes equally.
In conclusion, owning a home can come with many advantages, Correct article usage
apply
such
as accommodation security and freedom at changing
the design. Change preposition
to change
Dispite
Correct your spelling
Despite
of
these benefits, It Change preposition
apply
also
can turn into a nightmare in some countries where people
are able to buy several houses
. Thus
, the number of houses
available for sale decrease
and Correct subject-verb agreement
decreases
then
, some families cannot have their own house
.Submitted by ava.saljoughi on
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Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps frame your argument effectively. To improve cohesion, ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. You may introduce linking words or phrases to help guide the reader through your argument.
Task Achievement
You have addressed the task well and provided reasons for the trend of owning homes. To enhance your task achievement, try to integrate more specific examples or data to back up your points. This will add depth to your analysis.
Task Achievement
While your ideas are generally clear, placing added emphasis on expanding them could be beneficial. Try to delve deeper into your points to provide a more comprehensive overview.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are distinct and provide a good structure to your essay.
Task Achievement
The essay highlights a critical analysis of the societal implications of owning versus renting. This shows your ability to evaluate different aspects of the topic.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example