We live in a world of technology these days. While the internet brings with it clear advantages, the problems in terms of control and security of information outweighs the advantages. To what extent do you agree?

Nowadays, the internet
hane
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has
taken over pretty much every corner of
the
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apply
show examples
society. Nearly everyone
haves
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has
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the
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apply
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access to it and some of them
who does
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apply
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store very much everything about their life. Some believe that the disadvantages of
internet
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the internet
show examples
in terms of being safe overweight the advantages. I agree with the statement and I am going to elaborate on my views with examples in
further
paragraphs. On one hand, the normal life of
a
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an
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individual is fully dependent on technology. Whether it is communicating via calls and messages or buying things online, it
make
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makes
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everyday activities a lot more easier.
Moreover
,
internet
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the internet
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is
Verb problem
has
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also
there
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their
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primary source of boost in
economy
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the economy
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and employment,
since
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for
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the past few decades.
For instance
, ever since online
service
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services
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and apps
exists
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exist
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,
it
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they
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open a lot more career opportunities for youngsters to pursue.
On the other hand
, one of the biggest disadvantages of the online network is that there is not a really safe medium to use it.
However
, it is extremely easy to
trapped
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be trapped
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by cyber thieves.
For example
, there are endless phone calls and website links we
recieve
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receive
, which
claims
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claim
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to give
discount
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discounts
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or lottery
prize
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prizes
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.
Nevertheless
, the easy way to avoid
this
is by using apps or websites to recognise their owner and report them. In conclusion, the use of
network
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networks
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really made our
life
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lives
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simpler, even though there are some threats everyone should be cautious of.
Furthermore
,
i
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I
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believe we can easily get rid of these fake websites by spreading social awareness and taking strict actions against these hackers.
Submitted by poonam.tushir0099 on

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task achievement
Ensure that your essay directly addresses the prompt by discussing the balance of internet advantages and security issues. Clearly express your stance on the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement.
coherence cohesion
Use transitional phrases and connectors more effectively to improve the flow between ideas and paragraphs. This will enhance the logical structure of your response.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples or data to support your arguments. This will strengthen your points and improve the relevance and effectiveness of your examples.
general language use
Review your essay for grammatical errors and sentence structures. Using a variety of sentence types and checking for verb-subject agreement will improve clarity.
coherence cohesion
The introduction clearly states your position and outlines what the essay will discuss, which sets a good framework for the reader.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion summarizes the main points and provides a solution, which ties the essay well together.
task achievement
The essay addresses both positive and negative aspects of internet usage, showing a balanced view of the topic.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • global connectivity
  • digital banking
  • cybersecurity
  • data protection
  • security breaches
  • cyber attacks
  • online transactions
  • digital divide
  • surveillance
  • freedom of information
  • responsible usage
  • ethical considerations
  • digital footprints
  • online behavior
  • information inequality
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