Nowadays technology is increasingly being used to monitor what citizens are saying and doing (for instance, through cellphone tracking and security. cameras. In many cases, the people being monitored are unaware that this is happening. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?
In our century of technologies, most " of our daily advantages. Those
uses
gadgets significantly mate to monitor our own behaviour, Correct subject-verb agreement
use
most
of part of society is not Correct word choice
but most
informated
about it. But what particular advantages on disadvantages it Correct your spelling
informed
information
brings
to improve our worldWrong verb form
bring
.
I think In my point of view, it is evident that the disadvantages Change the punctuation
?
outweight
Correct your spelling
outweigh
Correct article usage
the
type
of monitoring have many drawbacks, Fix the agreement mistake
types
such
as Linking Words
:
Remove the comma
apply
tanger
to ordinary Correct your spelling
danger
people
and conflicts about privacy.
First of all, many comfortable of us believe that Use synonyms
its
is comfortable toChange the pronoun
it
to
talk and Remove the redundancy
apply
to
Correct your spelling
do
your
activities knowing that information will not be spread away. So, the monitoring might make every person more isolated not only from other individualsCorrect pronoun usage
our
,
but Remove the comma
apply
also
from simply Linking Words
to go
outside worth. Change the verb form
going
For instance
, it is familiar to many of us to have rules in public places, like : schools, Linking Words
universities
. and work placements. There, many Correct word choice
or universities
people
are closed to Use synonyms
be
Wrong verb form
being
yourself
Correct pronoun usage
themselves
due to
the awareness of breaking rules and Linking Words
then
getting Linking Words
punishment
.
Another no less important drawback is the fact that many lie without private information will Replace the word
punished
make
a lot of conflicts. There will be those Verb problem
create
people
that may try to be against Use synonyms
of
monitoring, so it may Change preposition
apply
also
cause danger to Linking Words
inocents
. Correct your spelling
innocents
innocent
For
Linking Words
example
any wars Add a comma
example,
on
revolutions in big countries were Correct your spelling
or
mate
Correct your spelling
made
from
Change preposition
by
goverments
which tried to limit Correct your spelling
governments
government
individuals
possibilities, Change noun form
individuals'
individual's
that
in the end caused conflicts that involved simple citizens.
Correct word choice
which
To sum up
everything above, I believe that monitoring is a big disadvantage that may involve
Linking Words
a
ordinary Change the article
an
people
. I hope there will be Use synonyms
less
monitored technologies in our world.Correct quantifier usage
fewer
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coherence cohesion
Improve the logical structure of your essay by organizing your ideas more clearly. Consider using more paragraphs to separate different points.
coherence cohesion
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task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points. Focus on making your arguments clear and comprehensive.
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Address the topic more completely by considering counterarguments and addressing them in your response.
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coherence cohesion
The introduction establishes the topic, and the main points of your position are addressed, which indicates a good effort at coherence and cohesion.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.