IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that children should start school at the age of six or seven while others think that children should start school as young as possible. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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The discussions over the start
age
Use synonyms
 of children for education
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
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 sparked controversial debate. It is thought by some people that
six
Use synonyms
 and seven are the most suitable
age
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,
while
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 others hold the belief that how much earlier children become for school, the more benefits can be yielded.
Although
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 each of
Linking Words
this view
Fix the agreement mistake
these views
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 has
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
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 own advantages, in my opinion, the opinion of those who support the idea of
Use synonyms
six
Correct article usage
the six
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 and
Use synonyms
age
Correct article usage
the age
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 factor seems more appealing.
To begin
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 with, undoubtedly, if pupils begin earlier for studying, they will graduate
school
Change preposition
from school
show examples
 a little bit earlier
at the end
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 of the education period. In
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
turn,
this
Linking Words
 allows them strive to
Change preposition
in the
show examples
the
Change the word
their
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 career lives.
In addition
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, it is backed up by some scientific
evidences
Change the wording
evidence
pieces of evidence
shreds of evidence
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 that
human
Correct article usage
the human
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 brain is far stronger than
further
Linking Words
 years of life. The case in point is
the
Correct your spelling
that
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 scholars from Istanbul University detected after careful investigations that
brain
Correct article usage
the brain
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 works both logically and efficiently at
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the age
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age
Fix the agreement mistake
ages
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 of four and five.
However
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, most experts point out that
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the age
show examples
age
Fix the agreement mistake
ages
show examples
 of 4 and 5 should be assessed in terms of adaptation to the family, rather than
educational
Correct article usage
the educational
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 process. Another thing
should
Correct pronoun usage
that should
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 not be overlooked is
Use synonyms
age
Correct your spelling
that
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 ones who are at the
age
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 of 6 are more capable of
grasp
Wrong verb form
grasping
show examples
 the issues and
learn
Wrong verb form
learning
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 more quickly, compared to younger ages.
Firstly
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, at
this
Linking Words
age
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, their communication abilities reach enough level which
enable
Change the verb form
enables
show examples
 them to develop and carry to the
further
Linking Words
 stages.
Secondly
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, their psychology and health states would have been in a
such
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 condition that realizing the meaning of subjects might be easier.
Thus
Linking Words
, I reckon that
six
Use synonyms
 and seven are
approprioate
Correct your spelling
appropriate
 for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
beginners and support
this
Linking Words
 idea. In conclusion,
while
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 getting
education
Add an article
an education
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since
Change preposition
from
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 the ages of four and five, from my own perspective,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
period
Fix the agreement mistake
periods
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of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
six
Use synonyms
 and seven ages is positive and useful for children.

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coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, work on connecting your ideas more smoothly between sentences and paragraphs. Using connectives and linking words can help in making the essay flow better.
task achievement
Ensure each point you make is clearly supported with a relevant example. Adding more specific evidence or real-life examples could strengthen the argument.
task achievement
Try to elaborate your ideas a little more to clarify comprehensive thoughts on the subject. This way, your essay's main points will be clearer.
coherence cohesion
The essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, helping to structure the overall argument.
task achievement
The essay offers a balanced discussion of both views with an opinion provided, addressing the task well.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • cognitive development
  • educational outcomes
  • attention spans
  • emotional maturity
  • essential life skills
  • creativity
  • problem-solving abilities
  • social skills
  • structured learning experiences
  • early literacy
  • numeracy skills
  • socialize children
  • formal education
  • transition
  • individual child's readiness
  • educational environment
  • mature
What to do next:
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