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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart shows the proportion of renewable energy in total energy supply in 4 countries from 1997 to 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart shows the proportion of renewable energy in total energy supply in 4 countries from 1997 to 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#proportion #energy #countries #information #features #comparisons
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The bar chart
illustrate
Change the verb form
illustrates
show examples
 the proportion of power energy in
Australia
Use synonyms
,
Sweden
Use synonyms
,
Iceland
Use synonyms
 and Turkey between 1997 and 2010. As can be seen,
Iceland
Use synonyms
 has
get
Change the verb form
got
show examples
a
Change the article
the
show examples
 highest percentage of
renwable
Correct your spelling
renewable
 energy.Will ,
Australia
Use synonyms
 and
Use synonyms
sweden
Change the capitalization
Sweden
show examples
 have nearly
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 and
Less
Fix the agreement mistake
fewer numbers
show examples
number
Use synonyms
.
It is clear that
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 In
Use synonyms
Iceland
Add a comma
Iceland,
show examples
thir
Correct your spelling
there
is
Correct your spelling
it
show examples
incresed
Correct your spelling
increased
 in 2010
around
Change preposition
by around
show examples
 70%.
whill
Correct your spelling
while
will
 in 2000 it decreased
in to
Join the words
into
show examples
 60 %.
In addition
Linking Words
, In 1997 it
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 power energy drop to 45%.
Moreover
Linking Words
, In
Turkey
Add a comma
Turkey,
show examples
thir
Correct your spelling
their
 were increased around same
nerly
Correct your spelling
nearly
 same
number
Use synonyms
 over the years. The rising
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 in 2000 around 40%
whill
Correct your spelling
while
will
 in 1997 they were less
in
Change preposition
by
show examples
 one Point
nerly
Correct your spelling
nearly
 39% .In 2010 start fell
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
to 31%
On the other hand
Linking Words
, in
Austrailia
Correct your spelling
Australia
 and
Sweden
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 have the same
number
Use synonyms
. In
Use synonyms
Australia
Add a comma
Australia,
show examples
 In 1997 the
Use synonyms
number of
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
proportion
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 less than 10% and through two years
droped
Correct your spelling
dropped
 to
nerly
Correct your spelling
barely
 1%.
However
Linking Words
, In
Use synonyms
sweden
Change the capitalization
Sweden
show examples
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
proportion
Correct article usage
a proportion
show examples
 in 1997
around
Add a missing verb
was around
show examples
 2% and
grow
Wrong verb form
grew
show examples
 to under 10%.
To sum up
Linking Words
, we could say that,
Use synonyms
Iceland
Change preposition
in Iceland
show examples
thir
Correct your spelling
their
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 increased
overe
Correct your spelling
over
 the years
while
Linking Words
 in
Australia
Use synonyms
 were decreased.
Submitted by almay on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words australia, sweden, iceland, number with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "proportion" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "drop" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 4 times.
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