IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

Nowadays university education is very expensive. Some people say that universities should reduce their fees, especially for the less fortunate stuvery spedents or those coming from rural areas. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#university #education #people #universities #fees #stuvery #spedents #areas
It is a fact that college expenditures have increased massively.
According to
 many, prices should be diminished for those who come from poverty or from less populated regions. I totally agree with
this
 view on the grounds that reducing academy expenses
offer
Correct subject-verb agreement
offers
show examples
 equal opportunities and enlarges the skilled workforce. Being a university student is not every young adult's dream anymore. As
many
Change preposition
in many
show examples
sector
Change to a plural noun
sectors
show examples
, education has been affected by unpleasant economic realities. Particularly, economically disadvantaged high school students, which is
greatly
Add an article
a greatly
the greatly
show examples
 impaired group, skip
upper
Add an article
an upper
the upper
show examples
 level of education. By reducing university costs,
however
,
this
 negative view can be shifted. Enacting suitable regulations makes high education more reachable. Satisfactory scholarship programmes or price
reduction
Fix the agreement mistake
reductions
show examples
 for
destitude
Correct your spelling
destitute
 young people,
for instance
, could be seen as
permanent
Add an article
a permanent
show examples
 solution.
Furthermore
, providing equal chances for everyone is of paramount importance
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the workforce. Every
brillant
Correct your spelling
brilliant
Brillant
 brain
reached
Verb problem
apply
show examples
turns into a quality professional. Just because
being in
Verb problem
of their
show examples
 harsh financial status, many talented individuals are struggling to meet
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their real capacity. Those individuals are being employed as either
blue collar
Add a hyphen
blue-collar
show examples
 or temporary workers. Yet, with the aid of
correct
Correct article usage
the correct
show examples
 policy, which is implementing expense decrement, society could have more engineers, doctors or teachers. In Turkey, owing to some big companies, destitute lycee students became brilliant professionals. In conclusion, more affordable university programmes not only
contributes
Correct subject-verb agreement
contribute
show examples
 to fairness but
also
strenghten
Correct your spelling
strengthen
 the country's working professional force.
Submitted by TUTOO on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Elaborate more on main points with specific examples and further explanations.
coherence cohesion
Ensure all ideas clearly relate back to the main argument/topic to maintain clarity.
task achievement
The essay effectively establishes a clear stance and maintains focus on the issue of university education costs.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-presented, helping give the essay a clear structure.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: