Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Children
Use synonyms
spend hours every day on their
smartphones
Use synonyms
. Since
smartphones
Use synonyms
are involved in enjoyable applications and games. To illustrate Snapchat, Instagram and Pubg. These are harmful for the
children
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
Linking Words
they shouldn'
t
Use synonyms
much spend time on
smartphones
Use synonyms
. Seeing that
smartphones
Use synonyms
cause physical problems and some mental problems. After that
smartphones
Use synonyms
have many advantages and disadvantages.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
smartphones
Use synonyms
have many advantages. Seeing as
smartphones
Use synonyms
help to fun and education. To oversimplify,
while
Linking Words
studying and playing games. Thereby
this
Linking Words
issue remark to
children
Use synonyms
. Later on, technology improved day by day.
However
Linking Words
,
smartphones
Use synonyms
are progress.
Hence
Linking Words
children
Use synonyms
should just use
smartphones
Use synonyms
for education and research to anything.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
smartphones
Use synonyms
have many disadvantages. Seeing as
smartphones
Use synonyms
have much radiation.
Therefore
Linking Words
adults should give the time limit to the smartphone.
Also
Linking Words
,
smartphones
Use synonyms
are very extensive today. The circumstances have bad effects on the
children
Use synonyms
. To clarify headache, back pain lazy eye etc. That's why
parents
Use synonyms
shouldn'
t
Use synonyms
consent to too much make use of the
smartphones
Use synonyms
. All in all,
children
Use synonyms
don'
t
Use synonyms
use too many
smartphones
Use synonyms
.
That physical
Correct determiner usage
Physical
show examples
and mental health are significant for
children
Use synonyms
's lives. From my point of view, I strongly believe that
parents
Use synonyms
must take care of
this
Linking Words
issue. As an extra
parents
Use synonyms
should restrain to wield
smartphones
Use synonyms
in
this
Linking Words
situation. Providing that
parents
Use synonyms
constrain
children
Use synonyms
in
this
Linking Words
subject,
children
Use synonyms
will be more healthy in future life.
Linking Words
On
Change preposition
In
show examples
the contrary case,
children
Use synonyms
wouldn'
t
Use synonyms
healthy
Add a missing verb
be healthy
show examples
. Taking everything into account all of us should be careful. We shouldn'
t
Use synonyms
spend too much time on
smartphones
Use synonyms
. We must forget that health is the most essential and valuable in the world.
Submitted by eylulelveren7 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

structure
Make sure your essay is well-organized with clear paragraphs for the introduction, body, and conclusion.
examples
Include specific examples or anecdotes to support your points, which will enhance your task achievement and relevance.
connections
Work on connecting your ideas more effectively to improve coherence and cohesion, using linking words and appropriate transitions.
introduction conclusion
The essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in understanding your main viewpoint.
task response
You have acknowledged both benefits and drawbacks of smartphone use, which shows a balanced approach to the topic.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: