It is important for everyone, including young people, to save money for their future. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement?
It is true that
,
Remove the comma
apply
money
plays a crucial role in modern society. Use synonyms
Therefore
, everyone should pay Linking Words
their
attention to Correct pronoun usage
apply
save
Wrong verb form
saving
money
as a habit. Use synonyms
This
practice Linking Words
in
not only useful for Correct your spelling
is
matured
individuals but Replace the word
mature
also
it is worth Linking Words
for
all age ranges in society. Correct pronoun usage
it for
This
essay will argue that the way of saving Linking Words
money
Use synonyms
affect
Correct subject-verb agreement
affects
to
their future.
On one hand, Change preposition
apply
Use synonyms
money saving
allows Add a hyphen
money-saving
to secure
Change the verb form
securing
the
retirement period of people. None of Change the word
their
Add an article
the individual
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
has
able to work throughout Verb problem
is
the
whole lifetime. Change the word
their
Therefore
, there should be a considerable amount of savings on hand. When a person Linking Words
will be getting
older, Wrong verb form
gets
their
might be Replace the word
there
happen
Verb problem
apply
a
plenty of health disasters. Remove the article
apply
In addition
to that, seniors will have to accomplish their fundamental necessities without Linking Words
participate
Change the verb form
participating
on
the Change preposition
in
work force
. To overcome these obstacles, senior citizens should have a power of monitory status. If individuals are unable to attend it properly, definitely it will be Correct your spelling
workforce
struggled
with these challenges.
On Wrong verb form
struggle
other
hand, Correct article usage
the other
adolescences
Replace the word
adolescents
also
pay their concern to Linking Words
save
Wrong verb form
saving
money
. Mostly, young people Use synonyms
received
quite limited income. Wrong verb form
receive
Such
asLinking Words
,
pocket Remove the comma
apply
money
, internship allowance or any other minor remuneration. Even though, they should have an attitude of saving. Use synonyms
They
able to control their Add a verb
They are
They were
consumptions
. Fix the agreement mistake
consumption
Moreover
, based on the technology development, they Linking Words
also
have Linking Words
facility
of creating their own Add an article
the facility
a facility
money
plans. When Use synonyms
youngers
save Correct your spelling
young people
money
step by step, eventually, it will be a considerable saving. Apart from that, it can be invested in an optimum investment source or Use synonyms
Correct article usage
a verity
verity
of sources. Correct your spelling
variety
Furthermore
, Linking Words
save
Wrong verb form
saving
money
allowsUse synonyms
a
stable future Change preposition
for a
also
. Linking Words
For instance
, when I was a kid I Linking Words
have
had a habit of saving and after that, when I was entering the university, I was able to purchase a laptop Unnecessary verb
apply
by
my own. It gave me a sense of accomplishment which anyone can obtainChange preposition
on
it
.
In conclusion, It is Correct pronoun usage
apply
prove
thatCorrect your spelling
proven
,
Remove the comma
apply
the
Correct article usage
apply
money
saving is significant Use synonyms
in
every person. As Change preposition
for
and
elder, it would assist Correct your spelling
an
to secure
retirement period Change preposition
in securing
while
Linking Words
youngers
would help to ensure their higher education and future plans. Correct your spelling
younger
According to
my point of Linking Words
view
it should be practiced to enhance saving Add a comma
view,
habit
. Fix the agreement mistake
habits
This
essay Linking Words
argued
the reasons for that.Wrong verb form
argues
Submitted by dilkiapsara on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic and flows logically into the next one. Improve logical ordering.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to consistently support your main points.
task achievement
Ensure more precision in word choice and grammar to effectively communicate ideas.
task achievement
The essay makes relevant points about the importance of saving for both elderly people and young individuals.
coherence cohesion
You have included a personal example that adds weight to your argument.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clearly presented, with a clear restatement of opinion.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.