Traveling abroad is becoming obtainable than before, and doors of a lot of countries are open for tourism. International tourism is not perfect, it has both many advantages and many disadvantages too.

Traveling abroad is becoming
obtainable
Correct quantifier usage
more obtainable
show examples
than before, and doors of a lot of
countries
are open for
tourism
. International
tourism
is not perfect, it has both many advantages and many disadvantages too. Traveling abroad is becoming
obtainable
Correct quantifier usage
more obtainable
show examples
than before, and doors of a lot of
countries
are open for
tourism
. International
tourism
is not perfect, it has both many advantages and many disadvantages too. On the one hand, instability of prices and their growth during
tourism
seasons, prices for housing and entertainment in some
countries
, at certain times of the year,
due to
the influx of tourists harms local residents.
For example
, in Turkey, Egypt and other
countries
where resort holidays are developed, between the end of spring and the beginning of autumn, prices in stores, restaurants and hotels increase. Because of
this
, local residents spend more than usual, during
this
period.
In addition
, the environment is under threat; Turkey is actively cutting down forests to expand the territory for the construction of resort hotels.
On the other hand
,
regional
Add an article
the regional
show examples
economy is developing at
this
time,
funds
Correct word choice
and funds
show examples
received at
this
time can be used for the development of the
country
. The growth of jobs and average wages is
also
guaranteed, the sector serving tourists is only expanding and becoming more popular, tourist guides and tours, resorts and escorts, all
this
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
only becoming more popular and more profitable. The money received can be spent on planting new forests and developing the
country
as a whole, improving the living conditions of local residents. In
conclusion
Add a comma
conclusion,
show examples
we have that the pros outweigh the cons, since the funds received from
this
go towards the development of the entire
country
, but the main thing is not to lose your head and
aesthetics
Correct article usage
the aesthetics
show examples
of your
country
in the pursuit of money.
Submitted by dulskywork on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
To enhance your task response, substantiate the essay's main arguments with more detailed examples and statistics where applicable.
coherence cohesion
Improve coherence by linking ideas with a variety of cohesive devices rather than relying primarily on 'on the one hand' and 'on the other hand'.
task achievement
Ensure that every point is developed with a balanced approach, elaborating both advantages and disadvantages evenly.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, setting the stage for and summarizing your arguments effectively.
task achievement
The essay identifies key points like economic development and environmental impact, showing an understanding of the discussion topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: