The pie chart below show the percentages of waster used in different sectors in Sydney,Australia in 1997 and 2007
The given pie charts compare the various purposes of
water
usage
in Sydney and Australia over the period of 1997 and 2007.
Overall
, it is clear that
a large percentage of water
was used in the food industry
and households, while
the smallest amounts were used in building and manufacturing.
As the chart reveals, in 1997, the greatest proportion of water
usage
was in the food industry
at 48%, which decreased steadily to 41% in 2007. However
, water
usage
in the service industry
was 26% in 2007, which was twice as high compared to 13% in 1997. Turning to the smallest figure, it was in the building industry
, at just 5% in 1997, which decreased to 2% in 2007. Water
usage
in households remained approximately the same at 19% and 21% in 1997 and 2007, respectively. Moreover
, there was little change in manufacturing, which was at 15% in 1997 and dropped sharply to 11% in 2007.
I corrected grammar, spelling, and punctuation errors for clarity and readability while
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!Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words water, usage, industry with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "compare" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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