The invention of the Smartphone marks a crucial turning point in innovation, becoming the most necessary item on everyone’s list. Today, it is rare to see a person without one, constantly entering data and searching for information. However, while it is a social milestone, the Smartphone is also responsible for a changing culture. Please share your perspectives on this topic and discuss your views on the subject from both a personal and professional perspective

At present days,
the
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apply
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smartphones
is
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are
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the most
necessity
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necessary
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item in everyone's
live
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lives
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.It
used
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is used
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for searching information and saving data. It has
the
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a
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significantly
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significant
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turning point in history. It
also
plays
role
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a role
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in changing culture.
This
development has a lot of merits but some demerits as well, which basically depend on the point of view. In my opinion, the
properly
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proper
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use of
smartphones
develop
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develops
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society dramatically. On the one side,
smartphones
can be used as a good object in many situations. I mean it
have
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has
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the possibility to save human lives in difficult situations, like the ease of calling emergencies. One time my friend was driving a bicycle on an empty road,
after
this
, his pressure decreased and he fell
then
called the ambulance and sent the location
all these
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apply
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by using the phone, and they were able to help. On the other side,
smartphons
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smartphones
smartphone
could affect negatively on community. The ease of its use causes
a
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apply
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less communication in families,
for instance
, each child plays at home
in
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on
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his own except of playing football in the street with his cousins,
the
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and the
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married daughter
who
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apply
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call
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calls
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her parents
whereas
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so
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she can visit. In conclusion,
smartphones
are important in
this
life.
While
they can influence positivity and negativity. But
this
item can help us in hard situations and we can learn it in
healthy
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a healthy
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way in order to avoid its negative impact.
Submitted by danall1kat on

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coherence cohesion
Focus on organizing your ideas more clearly and logically. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that the ideas flow smoothly from one to the next.
task achievement
Make sure your response fully addresses all parts of the task. Although the essay covers the positive and negative impacts of smartphones, it could benefit from more depth and detail in discussing cultural changes and professional perspectives.
task achievement
Try to enhance the clarity and comprehensiveness of your ideas. Some statements are a bit vague and could be expanded or clarified for better understanding.
coherence cohesion
The essay includes an introduction and a conclusion, which helps frame the discussion effectively.
task achievement
You have included relevant examples, such as the story about your friend calling for help using a smartphone.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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