IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The table below shows how the UK unemployed spent their time last year.

The table below shows how the UK unemployed spent their time last year.
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The table gives information about how the UK unemployed spent their
time
Use synonyms
 in four categories for the
last
Linking Words
 year.
Overall
Linking Words
, in the morning
women
Use synonyms
has
Change the verb form
have
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 the largest
percentages
Fix the agreement mistake
percentage
show examples
 of
spending
Verb problem
apply
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their
time
Use synonyms
,
whereas
Linking Words
 in the
afternoon
Use synonyms
women
Use synonyms
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 the lowest
number
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
te
Correct your spelling
the
show examples
 table. Looking at the details, the highest
number
Use synonyms
 of men spending their
time
Use synonyms
 in the mornings was 22% on finding
job
Add an article
a job
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 and 20% on shopping,
while
Linking Words
 the lowest
number
Use synonyms
 was 2% on dropping. Meanwhile, in the
afternoon
Use synonyms
 it was only 12% for job hunting and 9% for spending their
time
Use synonyms
 on shopping. In the morning the
number
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 of watching TV and playing
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
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 were similar (4 and 4), at the same
time
Use synonyms
 walking and visiting town has
also
Linking Words
 the same percentage (5 and 5). During the
afternoon
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, the percentage of drinking and visiting
town
Add an article
the town
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 was absolutely the same (3 and 3).
Moreover
Linking Words
, for reading and walking men took only 8% of their
time
Use synonyms
. Opening
women
Use synonyms
 section, in the morning they spent their
time
Use synonyms
 almost on
houseworking
Correct your spelling
housework
house working
 (49%), but on playing
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
show examples
 and drinking they spend much
more
Change the word
apply
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less
time
Use synonyms
 (1 and 1
percentage
Replace the word
per cent
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). The
number
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 of doing nothing/sitting around, walking and decorating something was all the same (3%).
However
Linking Words
, in the
afternoon
Use synonyms
women
Use synonyms
 spent much
lower
Correct word choice
less
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time
Use synonyms
 on housework and going through the shops (21% and 17). The lowest digit was on drinking (1%) and playing
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
show examples
 (0%),
such
Linking Words
 as
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
staying in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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bed. For the
last
Linking Words
 year in the
UK
Add a comma
UK,
show examples
women
Use synonyms
 spent only 2% of their
time
Use synonyms
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
decorating and walking.
Hence
Linking Words
,
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
doing nothing/sitting around was just 6%.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 75%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words time, women, afternoon, number with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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