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Writing Samples
Band 5

On one hand, nuclear power provides cheap and clean energy. On the other hand, nuclear weapons are a potent threat to world peace. Do the benefits of nuclear technology outweigh the risks? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#hand #power #energy #weapons #threat #world #peace #technology #risks
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Nuclear
energy
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 has become a prominent type of
energy
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 among the other forms. Some people argue that nuclear
power
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 provides benefits to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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humanity
such
Linking Words
 as inexpensive and clean
energy
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,
while
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 others believe that it
has
Verb problem
poses
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 more risk to the
world
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. In my opinion,
risks
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the risks
show examples
associate
Change the form of the verb
associated
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 with nuclear
power
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 are more as compared to the benefits. On the one hand, there are several benefits of
the
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apply
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nuclear
power
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such
Linking Words
 as affordability and quality. As the population is
inceasing
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increasing
 day by day around the
world
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, the regular forms of
energy
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such
Linking Words
 as wind and electric
energy
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 have been diminishing at an alarming rate;
therefore
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, there is an immediate need
of
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for
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 new
form
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forms
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 of
energies
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energy
show examples
such
Linking Words
 as nuclear and wind
energy
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.
For instance
Linking Words
, countries with
high
Add an article
a high
the high
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 rate of population are researching the efficient form of
energies
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energy
show examples
 so that they do not have to rely on the natural form of
power
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. On the other side of
coin
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the coin
show examples
, everything has its own cons and
pro
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pros
show examples
; so, nuclear
energy
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also
Linking Words
 has various
drwabacks
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drawbacks
such
Linking Words
 as
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Add an article
a threat
the threat
show examples
threat
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threats
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 to the
world
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. Nuclear
energy
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 can be used to assemble
the
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apply
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atomic or nuclear bombs which, in turn, can
distroy
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destroy
 the whole planet.
In other words
Linking Words
, as soon as
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world
Add an article
the world
show examples
 is progressing towards high population and prosperity, nations are developing
the
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apply
show examples
nuclear bombs in order to enhance their inner strength.
Therefore
Linking Words
, countries with
nuclear
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a nuclear
show examples
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bomb
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bombs
show examples
 can
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threat
Replace the word
threaten
show examples
 their
neighbour
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neighbouring
show examples
 nation in order to
fullfil
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fulfil
 their demands related to
memerships
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memberships
membership
 and missions.
For example
Linking Words
, the US has nuclear
bomb
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 sites all around the
world
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 so it can be
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threat
Add an article
a threat
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 to entire worlds if the US decide to
laucnh
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launch
the
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a
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 nuclear
bomb
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.
Thus
Linking Words
, the command over the threatening
bomb
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 can be
menace
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a menace
show examples
 to the
world
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.
To sum up
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,
while
Linking Words
 nuclear
power
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 has some advantages
such
Linking Words
 as cheap
energy
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, in my opinion, it has more
threat
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 to the
worls
Correct your spelling
world
such
Linking Words
 as nuclear
Use synonyms
bomb
Fix the agreement mistake
bombs
show examples
.
Submitted by ankitkaushik4657 on

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Language
Pay closer attention to spelling and typographical errors, such as 'inceasing' and 'distruct' (should be 'increasing' and 'destroy').
Coherence & Cohesion
The essay presents a clear opinion that the risks of nuclear power outweigh the benefits, which is maintained throughout the text.
Task Achievement
The introduction effectively outlines the debate around nuclear power and states the writer's stance.
Coherence & Cohesion
The essay uses an appropriate structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
Task Achievement
Some examples are given to support points, such as the mention of countries in search of efficient energy forms and the US's nuclear power.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Nuclear power
  • Cheap and clean energy
  • Nuclear weapons
  • Threat to world peace
  • Benefits
  • Risks
  • Potent threat
  • Deterrence
  • Security
  • Accidents
  • Disasters
  • Misuse
  • Balancing
  • Strict regulations
  • International cooperation
What to do next:
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