Many people believe that education and high qualification will bring success. Others think that it is not required to achieve success in life. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #education #qualification #success #life

Nowadays some

people

believe that social media

sites

such

as Facebook or Twitter, have a negative impact on young

people

and their ability to form personal relationships. Others believe that these

sites

bring

people

together in a beneficial way. On the one

hand

Add a comma

hand,

show examples

it is correct that Internet

sites

like Twitter and Facebook have a very bad effect on teenagers and their development. Because not all teenagers use these

sites

for good.

In addition

this

, there are

people

who insert indecent materials for young

people

into these

sites

That is

why it hinders the development of a teenager.

On the other hand

, there are

people

who use these same

sites

in the right direction.

For example

, they use

this

site for dating,

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

blogging,

they share

Wrong verb form

sharing

show examples

their lives there, or

to earn

Change the verb form

earning

show examples

money from streams. And they put their achievements there so that others, looking at their own achievements, take motivation from them. In

conclusion

Add a comma

conclusion,

show examples

I agree with the second option of discussion because I think that

such

internet

sites

will help young

people

to develop

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

social relationships.

Submitted by saydusmonovasomiddin94 on Sat Oct 05 2024

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task achievement

The essay could benefit from more specific examples to support each view. Providing concrete instances will strengthen the arguments presented.

coherence and cohesion

Work on a more structured introduction that outlines the main points clearly, as well as a concluding paragraph that effectively summarizes the discussion.

task achievement

The essay presents both sides of the argument, fulfilling the requirement to discuss different views.

coherence and cohesion

The essay is well-organized with paragraphs that separate different ideas and perspectives.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

180 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

structured knowledge
critical thinking skills
specialized training
access to better job opportunities
higher income potential
network with influential peers and mentors
intrinsic motivation
practical experience
personal talents
stifle creativity
entrepreneurial spirit
formal education

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Many people believe that education and high qualification will bring success. Others think that it is not required to achieve success in life. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A friend of yours is thinking of going on a camping holiday for the first time this summer. He has asked for your advice

Learning English at school is often seen as more important than learning local languages. If these are not taught, many are at risk of dying out. In your opinion, is it important for everyone to learn English? Should we try to ensave the survival of local languages and if so, how?

Some people think that the government is responsible for looking after the elderly. Others believe that it should be family members. Who do you think should take responsibility?

Some claim that studying abroad has great benefits for a student’s home country. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In many countries, traditional customs are being lost. Why would this happen? What do you think school and parent should do to keep these custom alive?