Some people believe that advertisements aimed at children should be banned. Others argue that advertisements have a positive impact on children. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #advertisements #children #impact

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There is an ongoing debate

whether

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about whether

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advertisements aimed at

children

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need to be prohibited.

While

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the opponents of

this

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statement believe that

commercials

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have a positive influence

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show examples

Use synonyms

children

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children's

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mindset

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mindsets

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, others argue that it is more beneficial for

children

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to not

exposured

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exposure

exposed

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show examples

them at all. I personally agree

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with

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the latter argument and I will elaborate more on

this

Linking Words

essay. People who believe that

the

Correct article usage

apply

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advertisements

purposed

Verb problem

intended

show examples

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for

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children

Use synonyms

need to be banned have several reasons.

Firstly

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, most

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apply

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children

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are unable to process

information

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comprehensively, and thereby they will receive all

commercials

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without filtering.

For example

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, many milk

commercials

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in Indonesia claim to be healthy

products

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whereas

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, in fact, there is much sugar

contains

Wrong verb form

contained

show examples

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show examples

Correct pronoun usage

them

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Secondly

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, the main goal of advertisement is to gain profit. As

this

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industry will generate every possible way to attract

children

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buying

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buy

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their

products

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, it does not matter

for

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show examples

them whether the

products

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are truly beneficial for the target.

For instance

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, fast food restaurants offer bonus toys for

children

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who dine at their place.

Therefore

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while

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the company has reached their goal, the

children

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need to deal with future

effect

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effects

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in terms of health quality.

Conversely

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, individuals who argue that

commercials

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have

positive

Add an article

a positive

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impact on

children

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see other points of view. They tend to believe that an advertisement always

have

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has

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a potential resource to

exposure

Replace the word

expose

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much knowledge on

children

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. Take a

kids

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kid's

kids'

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sportwear

Correct your spelling

sportswear

commercial

for instance

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, it offers

information

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on how

excercise

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exercise

could be fun and interesting.

Furthermore

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, a commercial can be

such

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a reminder for

children

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. Nowadays many colorful ads featured with healthy kids

products

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expose the disadvantages of smartphone overuse by the

children

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As a result

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, it can be

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impactful strategy for

children

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who are glued to

the

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apply

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technology.

However

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, these impacts are not significant to the

children

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without parents'

guideline

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guidelines

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. In conclusion,

while

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it is believed that advertisements have a big leverage to deliver much beneficial

information

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for

children

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, I strongly affirm that

commercials

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will

cause

Verb problem

have

show examples

a bad influence

due to

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inability of the

children

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to filter

information

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Furthermore

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, the ultimate purpose of

company

Add an article

the company

a company

show examples

is solely profit for them.

Submitted by chocolate10 on Sat Oct 05 2024

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coherence cohesion

Ensure clear topic sentences to enhance logical flow. For instance, explicitly state the main point of each paragraph at the beginning.

coherence cohesion

In the conclusion, briefly restate key arguments to reinforce your position.

task achievement

Expand on the provided examples a bit more to illustrate points more comprehensively.

introduction conclusion present

The essay begins with a clear introduction that presents both sides of the argument effectively.

relevant specific examples

The discussion points are relevant and supported with specific examples.

clear comprehensive ideas

Your stance is clearly stated and consistently supported throughout the essay.

14
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
28
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

352 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

consumerism
materialism
impressionable
manipulative
discern
navigate choices
informed consumers
potentially beneficial
health consequences
creative development
imaginative play
economic impact

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Write about the following topic. Buying things on the Internet, such as books, air tickets and groceries, is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of shopping in this way outweigh the disadvantages?

In many parts of the world people do research in family history. Some people believe research on previous generation to be useful while others say that it is better to focus on present and future generation.discuss both views and show your opinion.