It was common in the past for people to retire at 60. Now more and more people are choosing to continue working past the official retirement age, with some countries even increasing the official age of retirement. Do you agree or disagree with this change? Why?

#people #retirement #age #countries #change

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In the current landscape of the global workforce, there has been a noticeable trend of elderly

individuals

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opting to extend their working years beyond the traditional retirement

age

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Consequently

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, several nations have deliberated on increasing the retirement

age

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to accommodate

this

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shift.

However

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, I firmly oppose

this

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proposition.

Firstly

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, senior citizens deserve the opportunity to enjoy a well-deserved break after years of dedicated service.

This

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phase of life should be cherished, allowing them to spend quality time with peers, grandchildren, and loved ones.

Furthermore

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, advancing

age

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often leads to reduced physical vigour, impacting work efficiency. Research conducted by Cairo University highlighted a decline in productivity and accuracy among workers over the

age

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of sixty, emphasizing the importance of recognizing their limitations.

Moreover

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, elderly

individuals

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are more susceptible to health issues

due to

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weakened immune systems and decreased physical resilience. In countries like Canada, older employees are sometimes restricted from working in densely populated areas to mitigate potential health risks posed by their

age

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-related vulnerabilities.

Nevertheless

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, remaining idle at home for extended periods can lead to feelings of monotony and potential conflicts within social circles.

While

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economic needs drive many

individuals

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to continue working, it is crucial to strike a balance. Implementing a uniform retirement

age

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policy ensures opportunities for younger generations to enter the workforce

while

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providing adequate support for retirees. In conclusion, it is incumbent upon governments to address

this

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issue by offering comprehensive pension plans, incentives, and support systems to enable elderly

individuals

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to retire comfortably and alleviate any financial burdens. Balancing the needs of older workers with opportunities for the younger workforce is essential for a harmonious transition in the labour market.

Submitted by mohannadsme on Sat Oct 05 2024

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task achievement

Ensure the thesis statement clearly states your stance on the issue. While your position is clear, reinforcing it in the introduction could enhance clarity.

coherence cohesion

Use more transitional words to strengthen the logical flow between ideas. Although your essay is generally cohesive, adding more connectors will aid in clarity.

task achievement

The essay presents a well-rounded argument with balanced perspectives, including both the reasons against extending the retirement age and understanding why some may choose to continue working.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are well-crafted, effectively framing the essay and summarizing the main points.

task achievement

Specific examples, such as the research from Cairo University and the mention of employment policies in Canada, add depth and relevance to the argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

275 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

retirement age
life expectancy
economic necessity
financial insecurity
aging population
workforce diversity
knowledge transfer
cognitive benefits
age discrimination
physical capability

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It was common in the past for people to retire at 60. Now more and more people are choosing to continue working past the official retirement age, with some countries even increasing the official age of retirement. Do you agree or disagree with this change? Why?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people feel that manufacturers and supermarkets have the responsibility to reduce the amount of packaging of goods. Others argue that customers should avoid buying goods with a lot of packaging. Discuss both views and give your opinion. (rewrite)

As the world becomes technologically advanced,computers are replacing people at more and more jobs. what are some job positions that may be lost because of computers?What are some problems that may result from this situation?

One of the widely discussed issues nowadays is that Governments impose extra taxes on flights to restrict tourism industry. It is undeniable that tourism has become an essential part of our life.

MANY PEOPLE WHO CARE FOR THE ELDERLY DO NOT HAVE ENOUGH TIME TO LOOK AFTER THEM. WHAT ARE THE PROBLEMS RELATED TO THIS? WHAT ARE SOME POSSIBLE SOLUTIONS?