Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of differenr cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

The role of
music
in the world today is widely debated, with some
people
claiming that it is indeed a
way
for
Change preposition
of
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gathering the heritages and
generations
.
However
, I personally do not entirely accept
this
and I will explain why in
this
essay.
Firstly
, we must consider the potential negatives of contact between cultures.
For instance
, Indonesia has several cultures, they
had
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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special
music
instrumental and
tone
Fix the agreement mistake
tones
show examples
of
music
in many regions.
This
speciality
Add a missing verb
is cover
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cover
Replace the word
covered
show examples
under the songs they have in many regions of Indonesia.
Furthermore
, there are numerous tensions between countries
claim
Correct pronoun usage
that claim
show examples
that the song has
the
Correct article usage
apply
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ownership of that country. For
examples
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example
show examples
, the song “
rasa
Capitalize word
Rasa
show examples
sayange”
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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is claimed by Malaysia, but it is originally from Indonesia in the Papua region. In
this
case,
music
leads to resentment and distrust between nationalities, not
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
good
way
to gather
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
. A
further
reason to be wary of
this
idea is the different
taste
Fix the agreement mistake
tastes
show examples
of
music
among
generations
. It is believed that the youth have different genres from the elderly.
For example
, most of
young
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the young
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people
like pop
music
,
while
the old
people
like country
music
. It can be seen that those differences might not be the best
way
to converge the junior and senior.
Moreover
, there is another
way
to put together the whole
generations
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generation
show examples
by talking
their
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about their
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favorite
Change the spelling
favourite
show examples
things.
For example
, the old
people
may tell the young
people
to go
beautiful
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to beautiful
show examples
places for their vacations and eat
the
Correct article usage
apply
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delicious meals.
Hence
, the taste
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
music
among
generations
is different
due to
their
favorite
Change the spelling
favourite
show examples
genres. In conclusion, it is said that
people
may not gather by
music
due to
the different cultures and
taste
Fix the agreement mistake
tastes
show examples
of
music
among the
generations
.
However
, there is another
way
to gather the
senior
Fix the agreement mistake
seniors
show examples
and
junior
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juniors
show examples
such
as
place
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a place
the place
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for
holiday
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a holiday
show examples
.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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coherence cohesion
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task achievement
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introduction conclusion
Revise the conclusion to ensure a stronger summary of the main points discussed and a clear restatement of your stance on the topic. This helps in presenting a more compelling finish to your essay.
introduction conclusion
The essay has an adequate introduction and conclusion, which helps frame your argument and provides a clear entry and exit point for the reader.
task achievement
There are relevant, specific examples provided, such as the case of 'rasa sayange,' which illustrate your points well, enhancing the task achievement.
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