IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

You recently went to a concert and thought one of the singers was very good. You want to fell him how you feel. Write a letter to the singer. In your letter • say how you feel about his performance • give details of your musical activities • explain how you would like him to help you with your musical activities

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Dear Alex Tam writing to tell you l attended
in
Change preposition
apply
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your concert
last
Linking Words
 week and, really I was excited when I
watch
Wrong verb form
watched
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 your performance in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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front of me. Adding that, I did not
believed
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believe
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 that a local performance be so beautiful . I would like to say that night I was overwhelmed with
happy
Replace the word
happiness
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from
Change preposition
by
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 your smooth
voice
Use synonyms
. Really, I was enchanting to meet you. I can say your
voice
Use synonyms
 is one of the most pleasant
Use synonyms
voice
Change to a plural noun
voices
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 in our country. I would like to tell you l am
a
Change the article
an
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 amateur singer and
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 started
from
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apply
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8 years ago, sort of, I tried to learn
with
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apply
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my
Correct your spelling
by
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self
Correct your spelling
myself
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.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I don't know my strong points and my
weakness
Fix the agreement mistake
weaknesses
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about
Change preposition
in
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this
Linking Words
 subject especially in my
voice
Use synonyms
 ups and downs methods
while
Linking Words
 singing. Can I
aske
Correct your spelling
ask
asked
 you to help me
pleas
Correct your spelling
please
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about resolving
Wrong verb form
resolve
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this
Linking Words
 matter It is clear I will pay for it in full
according
Add the preposition
according to
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 your point. I look forward to
reply
Wrong verb form
replying to
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 you as soon as possible
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 would
grateful
Add a missing verb
be grateful
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 if you
inform
Wrong verb form
informed
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 me. Yours faithfully Ali Saremi

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coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, ensure a logical structure by organizing information with clear transitions between ideas.
coherence cohesion
In discussing your musical activities, focus distinctly on what you've done and what assistance you need. Each paragraph should represent a single idea.
task achievement
Consider expanding on how the singer's performance specifically inspired or affected your subsequent actions to enhance task achievement.
coherence cohesion
Your closing and greeting are appropriately formal and effective for this letter format.
task achievement
You effectively communicated your admiration for the singer's performance, which aligns well with the task requirements.
task achievement
The writing tone is suitable and respectful, which complements your intent to seek assistance from the singer.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • stellar performance
  • captivating
  • musical prowess
  • talent
  • repertoire
  • collaboration
  • mentorship
  • resonate
  • aspiring musician
  • composition
  • rendition
  • inspirational
  • vocal range
  • harmonize
  • skillset
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