A lot of money is spent nowadays searching for oil. As the world's oil resources will eventually run out, it would be more logical to spend some of this money on developing new sources of power, such as wind and solar. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In today's world, many countries are investing a gargantuan amount of money into looking for
oil
. Given that the world's
oil
resources
will fall into shortage
at the end
of the day, people think that we should rather spend the money on finding new energy
resources
such
as wind and solar. In my opinion, I completely agree with
this
perspective, as clean energy
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
more eco-friendly and not influenced by
another
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
countries' social conditions. One significant advantage of searching for natural
sources
is that they are friendly to the environment. If we use the
power
of wind, solar or water, the carbon footprint can decrease, leading to preventing global warming.
On the other hand
, using
oil
is much more detrimental to the earth.
For example
,
aireplanes
Correct your spelling
aeroplanes
and vehicles
useing
Correct your spelling
Using
oil
emit
Correct subject-verb agreement
emits
show examples
a large amount of greenhouse gases. As humanity
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
facing an existential crisis
due to
global warming now,
it is clear that
exploiting clean
resources
is practical. Another merit is that new
sources
can not be affected by global
situation
Fix the agreement mistake
situations
show examples
such
as wars.
For instance
,
due to
the war between Ukraine and Russia, the price of
oil
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
rising, leading to an increase in
cost
Add an article
the cost
show examples
of living, pressing our daily lives. When it comes to natural
resources
, every
countries
Change to a singular noun
country
show examples
potentially
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
them,
therefore
,
this
situation above can not
be happened
Change to the active voice
happen
show examples
, which means natural
sources
of
power
can contribute to
sustainable
Correct article usage
a sustainable
show examples
life. In, conclusion, developing new clean
sources
of
power
will definitely outweigh the
desadvantages
Correct your spelling
disadvantages
disadvantaged
, as it is environmentally friendly, which is important now, and
also
it helps our sustainable living.
Thus
, we should use money to create new clean energy
power
instead
of searching for
oil
.
Submitted by kanchanakularathna1991 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

relevant specific examples
Ensure all examples are fully developed and relevant, such as providing more details on how clean energy impacts the global economy.
clear comprehensive ideas
Expand on the argument that renewable energy sources are unaffected by global issues. More examples or details about potential challenges or limitations of renewables would strengthen this point.
introduction conclusion present
Strongly articulated introduction and conclusion that effectively frame the essay.
logical structure
Logical flow between paragraphs, with each new idea building on the previous.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • finite
  • renewable energy sources
  • expenditure
  • compromise
  • sustainable
  • environmental impact
  • infrastructure
  • economic sustainability
  • dependency
  • fluctuating prices
  • stimulate
  • job creation
  • vested interests
  • transition
  • reluctance
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!