IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think university education is to prepare students for employment. Other people think university has other functions. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #university #education #students #employment #functions
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays Some people say that
university
Use synonyms
education
Use synonyms
 is the best way to achieve success in life,
while
Linking Words
 others believe it is no longer true. On the one hand
university
Use synonyms
education
Use synonyms
 is the best way to succeed in life. Because you will get a higher
education
Use synonyms
 at the
university
Use synonyms
 and you can
work
Use synonyms
 in the largest companies in a high position and achieve success. Find your role in
this
Linking Words
 life earn a lot and provide for yourself.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, without getting a higher
education
Use synonyms
 you can
also
Linking Words
 achieve success. Many now without going to
university
Use synonyms
work
Use synonyms
 in a good job and earn a lot.
For example
Linking Words
, freelance
work
Use synonyms
, blogging, mobile photography,
modelling
Correct word choice
and modelling
show examples
 agency, to
work
Use synonyms
 in these jobs you do not need to graduate from
university
Use synonyms
 or go to it. In conclusion, I agree with both options, but I think that going to
university
Use synonyms
 and getting a higher
education
Use synonyms
 is the best option.
Submitted by saydusmonovasomiddin94 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Try to develop each of your main points with more detail and explanation. This will help clarify your argument and demonstrate a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Improve your logical structure by ensuring that your ideas flow more naturally from one to the next.
task achievement
Incorporate more specific examples to back up your ideas, which will help make your argument more convincing and relatable.
introduction conclusion
Your introduction and conclusion are well presented, giving a clear overview of your position.
task achievement
The essay covers both sides of the argument, showing an understanding of different perspectives.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: