IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some students take a year off studying between finishing school and going to university in order to travel or to work. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#students #year #school #university #travel #work
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
At present days, some
students
Use synonyms
 take a gap
year
Use synonyms
 after graduation from high school. The advantages of
this
Linking Words
 decision outweigh any potential disadvantages. On the one side, a gap
year
Use synonyms
 gives
students
Use synonyms
 a lot of free time so they can do whatever they want. nowadays, most
students
Use synonyms
 go to paid universities
while
Linking Words
 at
this
Linking Words
 age they can not offer the amount, in
this
Linking Words
year
Use synonyms
 they can work hard in multiple jobs and earn money,
hence
Linking Words
 they will be able to register,
in addition
Linking Words
, improve their skills and
got
Wrong verb form
get
show examples
 some professional certificates.
For example
Linking Words
, my friend took a
year
Use synonyms
 off and worked in
restaurant
Add an article
a restaurant
the restaurant
show examples
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the morning and Uber driver at night. She
earn
Wrong verb form
earned
show examples
 all the money to move and study abroad and she made it. On the other side, the main demerit is
loss
Correct article usage
the loss
show examples
 of academic momentum.
Students
Use synonyms
 after
take
Wrong verb form
taking
show examples
 a rest
year
Use synonyms
 from education find the process of studying challenging and difficult like the way they used to prepare for exams and the discipline of attending long and boring classes, they may take some time to adjust to academic life. The British
recesrsh
Correct your spelling
research
 shows that there are differences 
of
Change preposition
between
show examples
Use synonyms
students
Change noun form
students'
student's
show examples
 degrees who made
this
Linking Words
 choice and
who
Correct determiner usage
those who
show examples
 did not. In conclusion, a
year
Use synonyms
 off between finishing school and going to college has
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 benefit of proper use of time but has some negative effects on student's performance as well.
Submitted by danall1kat on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
To improve task response, make sure each point is clearly related to the topic and fully explored. Provide more specific details for each advantage and disadvantage.
coherence cohesion
Improve coherence by ensuring each paragraph clearly transitions from one idea to the next. Use more linking words to connect ideas smoothly.
introduction conclusion present
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, providing a good structure.
relevant specific examples
The essay uses a relevant example to support the point about financial independence and skills development during a gap year.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Gap year
  • Academic momentum
  • Practical experience
  • Financial pressures
  • Interim period
  • Soft skills
  • Maturity
  • Independence
  • Career exploration
  • Re-adjustment
  • Social setbacks
  • Informed decision-making
What to do next:
Look at other essays: