Many people around the world use social media to keep in touch with other people and get the news. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience.

Recently, a lot of
people
are using social
media
to find information or to talk with
friends
. There are
advantages
and
disadvantages
of using social
media
,
for instance
, it is very easy to find out about the world
however
, some
people
get into trouble because of cyberbullying.
To begin
with there are some
advantages
of using social
media
. First of all, using social
media
can improve communication with
friends
. In my experience, my English
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
greatly improved after I started to talk with my
friends
on Instagram.
Therefore
, chatting with
friends
is helpful to improve communication skills and language.
Moreover
, using social
media
can learn new skills by reading or watching the information of successful
people
. In my experience,
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
helped me to write the report by finding information about my topic.
On the other hand
, there are
disadvantages
too.
Secondly
, some
people
are using social
media
to bully other
people
and
this
causes trauma which is a serious injury to the brain.
Therefore
, using social
media
can cause
people
disappointment or trauma. My friend got into trouble because he
get
Wrong verb form
got
show examples
bullied by
people
that he thought he was
friends
.
Additionally
,
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
my knowledge,
people
will get digital addiction by using social
media
for long hours every day.
This
means that they can not concentrate on studying or working and their eyes get worse by using so long hours on the devices.
This
means that it will disrupt daily life and make
human
Add an article
the human
show examples
body more unhealthy because of addiction to social
media
.
To sum up
, there are
advantages
and
disadvantages
of using social
media
.
For example
, it is helpful to improve skills
however
, it can make
people
trauma
Correct your spelling
traumatised
show examples
by bullying. In my opinion, using social
media
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
more
advantages
of development outweigh the
disadvantages
of social
media
.
Submitted by dokmally2 on

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task achievement
Provide more detailed specific examples to strengthen your arguments. For instance, provide specific situations or cases of both the positive and negative impacts of social media.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs. This will make the essay easier to read and understand.
task achievement
Ensure that the points discussed are equally balanced in detail for both advantages and disadvantages. This helps in creating a more nuanced response.
coherence cohesion
The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the discussion on social media.
task achievement
You have identified key advantages and disadvantages of social media usage, showing a balanced perspective.
task achievement
Your personal experiences are well-integrated into the response, providing a relatable understanding of the topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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