IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative develoment?

#businesses #emphasise #products #develoment
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These days, business owners
advertising
Wrong verb form
advertise
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 their
products
Use synonyms
 by emphasizing the newness offered
from
Change preposition
by
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 their brands. In my opinion,
this
Linking Words
 should be perceived as a positive trend since it allows brands to enhance
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 uniqueness and push companies to continue innovating
products
Use synonyms
 or services.
Firstly
Linking Words
, to differentiate one
product
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to
Change preposition
from
show examples
 another, a brand
need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
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 to have a unique selling
preposition
Correct your spelling
proposition
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, which
possible
Add a missing verb
is possible
show examples
 to happen by communicating what is something new it offered through commercials. By claiming something new inside their
products
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, it may make the
product
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 different and more appealing in the consumer’s eye.
As a result
Linking Words
, the
product
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 will be more acknowledged and most likely more people are going to buy the goods.
On the other hand
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,
although
Linking Words
 saying the
product
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 is “new” in some way may be considered
as
Correct your spelling
an
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 overclaim, it has
positive
Add an article
a positive
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 impact in terms of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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product
Use synonyms
 development. It will push the owner of
business
Add an article
the business
a business
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 to innovate or create a
product
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 or service
that is
Linking Words
 different
for
Change preposition
from
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 the one that already
exist
Change the verb form
exists
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.
Therefore
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,
consumer
Fix the agreement mistake
consumers
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 will have more choices when they are about to pick a
product
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. To illustrate, currently, there is an increasing trend of beauty companies which is launching skincare
products
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 with various
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
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 of ingredients in order to be the
trend setter
Correct your spelling
trendsetter
show examples
 and market leader. In conclusion, stressing a sense of newness of
products
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 and services
trough
Correct your spelling
through
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 advertisement must be considered as a positive development.
Besides
Linking Words
 it may help a brand to distinguish its
products
Use synonyms
 from other competitors, it will
also
Linking Words
 advantage the consumer to have
variety
Add an article
a variety
show examples
 of
products
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 to pick which fit best to their preferences.
Submitted by averinasandra on

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task achievement
Enhance the clarity of ideas by providing more detailed explanations for the claims made. This will make your argument more persuasive and comprehensive.
coherence cohesion
Improve cohesion by ensuring smoother transitions between paragraphs and ideas. Using linking words and phrases can help guide the reader through your argument more seamlessly.
coherence cohesion
The essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, framing the discussion effectively.
coherence cohesion
The main points are logically structured and supported with relevant examples.
task achievement
The argument of advertising emphasizing newness as a positive trend is well-explored with examples, showing a thorough understanding of the topic.
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