IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative develoment?

#businesses #emphasise #products #develoment
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These days, business owners
advertising
Wrong verb form
advertise
show examples
 their
products
 by emphasizing the newness offered
from
Change preposition
by
show examples
 their brands. In my opinion,
this
 should be perceived as a positive trend since it allows brands to enhance
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 uniqueness and push companies to continue innovating
products
 or services.
Firstly
, to differentiate one
product
to
Change preposition
from
show examples
 another, a brand
need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
show examples
 to have a unique selling
preposition
Correct your spelling
proposition
show examples
, which
possible
Add a missing verb
is possible
show examples
 to happen by communicating what is something new it offered through commercials. By claiming something new inside their
products
, it may make the
product
 different and more appealing in the consumer’s eye.
As a result
, the
product
 will be more acknowledged and most likely more people are going to buy the goods.
On the other hand
,
although
 saying the
product
 is “new” in some way may be considered
as
Correct your spelling
an
show examples
 overclaim, it has
positive
Add an article
a positive
show examples
 impact in terms of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
product
 development. It will push the owner of
business
Add an article
the business
a business
show examples
 to innovate or create a
product
 or service
that is
 different
for
Change preposition
from
show examples
 the one that already
exist
Change the verb form
exists
show examples
.
Therefore
,
consumer
Fix the agreement mistake
consumers
show examples
 will have more choices when they are about to pick a
product
. To illustrate, currently, there is an increasing trend of beauty companies which is launching skincare
products
 with various
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
show examples
 of ingredients in order to be the
trend setter
Correct your spelling
trendsetter
show examples
 and market leader. In conclusion, stressing a sense of newness of
products
 and services
trough
Correct your spelling
through
show examples
 advertisement must be considered as a positive development.
Besides
 it may help a brand to distinguish its
products
 from other competitors, it will
also
 advantage the consumer to have
variety
Add an article
a variety
show examples
 of
products
 to pick which fit best to their preferences.
Submitted by averinasandra on

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task achievement
Enhance the clarity of ideas by providing more detailed explanations for the claims made. This will make your argument more persuasive and comprehensive.
coherence cohesion
Improve cohesion by ensuring smoother transitions between paragraphs and ideas. Using linking words and phrases can help guide the reader through your argument more seamlessly.
coherence cohesion
The essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, framing the discussion effectively.
coherence cohesion
The main points are logically structured and supported with relevant examples.
task achievement
The argument of advertising emphasizing newness as a positive trend is well-explored with examples, showing a thorough understanding of the topic.
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