Some people think that criminals should be given longer term imprisonment, so as to reduce the crime rate. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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In modern society, people prosecute the idea that criminals should be taken longer time of
imprisonment
to decrease the crime rate,
however
,
this
essay disagrees with the given statement because long
imprisonment
does not guarantee success in future for ex-prisoners ,
furthermore
,isolation is affected people in jail doesn't help to integrate into the community after many years. In terms of precipitation, the modern jail system goes towards protecting regular citizens from criminals by long-term
imprisonment
.
However
, many ex-prisoners do not change and continue to do unlawful things after isolation,
such
as murder or worse, so the system does not give safety to people and is ineffective in the task response because it doesn't change prisoners.
For instance
, in Mexico , they increased the time of
imprisonment
for drug sellers but it didn't show any result in the fight against drugs.
Therefore
, the crime rate grows in the same way as before the reform.
Submitted by dimash.shaitmahmet on

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task achievement
Make sure to address all parts of the prompt, which includes not only discussing why you disagree but possibly considering the perspective of those who agree. This will enhance the completeness of your response.
coherence cohesion
To improve clarity, ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea. Use topic sentences to guide the reader through your argument.
task achievement
Develop your examples further to make them more specific and relevant. Providing a more detailed context can help strengthen your argument.
task achievement
Your essay presents a clear argument that is consistent throughout the discussion, focusing on why longer imprisonment might not reduce crime rates.
coherence cohesion
Your structure follows a logical pattern with paragraphs dedicated to different aspects of the argument against long imprisonments.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • deterrent
  • incapacitate
  • recidivism
  • rehabilitation
  • penalties
  • violate
  • root causes
  • reintegrate
  • recidivism
  • financial burden
  • crime prevention measures
  • overcrowding
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