Some people think that criminals should be given longer term imprisonment, so as to reduce the crime rate. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #criminals #term #imprisonment #crime #rate

In modern society, people prosecute the idea that criminals should be taken longer time of

imprisonment

to decrease the crime rate,

however

this

essay disagrees with the given statement because long

imprisonment

does not guarantee success in future for ex-prisoners ,

furthermore

,isolation is affected people in jail doesn't help to integrate into the community after many years. In terms of precipitation, the modern jail system goes towards protecting regular citizens from criminals by long-term

imprisonment

However

, many ex-prisoners do not change and continue to do unlawful things after isolation,

such

as murder or worse, so the system does not give safety to people and is ineffective in the task response because it doesn't change prisoners.

For instance

, in Mexico , they increased the time of

imprisonment

for drug sellers but it didn't show any result in the fight against drugs.

Therefore

, the crime rate grows in the same way as before the reform.

Submitted by dimash.shaitmahmet on Sun Oct 06 2024

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task achievement

Make sure to address all parts of the prompt, which includes not only discussing why you disagree but possibly considering the perspective of those who agree. This will enhance the completeness of your response.

coherence cohesion

To improve clarity, ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea. Use topic sentences to guide the reader through your argument.

task achievement

Develop your examples further to make them more specific and relevant. Providing a more detailed context can help strengthen your argument.

task achievement

Your essay presents a clear argument that is consistent throughout the discussion, focusing on why longer imprisonment might not reduce crime rates.

coherence cohesion

Your structure follows a logical pattern with paragraphs dedicated to different aspects of the argument against long imprisonments.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

2 paragraphs

152 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

deterrent
incapacitate
recidivism
rehabilitation
penalties
violate
root causes
reintegrate
recidivism
financial burden
crime prevention measures
overcrowding

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Some people think that criminals should be given longer term imprisonment, so as to reduce the crime rate. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people think that money is one of the most essential factors in promoting happiness. Do you think people can be happy without much money? What other factors contribute towards happiness?

In some developing countries it is difficult to recruit teachers to work in remote and rural areas and this can have a serious impact on education in these regions. Why do many teachers not want to work in these areas? What can be done to encourage teachers to take up posts in these regions?

Computers are being used more and more in education. Some people say this is a positive trend, while others argue that it leads to negative consequences. Discuss both sides of this argument and then give your own opinion.

Some people want governments to spend money looking for life on other planets. Others, however, think this is a waste of public money when there are so many problems on earth. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.