IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

compare the number of cars per household in Great Britain over a period of 36 years

#cars #household #britain #period #years
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This
 line graph shows the percentages of
households
 with different
number
Fix the agreement mistake
numbers
show examples
 of
cars
 in the UK. It is clear from the graph that the average figure for
families
 with
one
 car was the highest over the 36 years.
In contrast
,
households
 with three or more
cars
 were consistently the lowest.
Families
 without any vehicle accounted for about 48% in 1971, higher than
families
 with
one
, two c, and three or more
cars
, which stood at around 43%, 7%, and 1%.
Whereas
 the situation changed obviously in 2007,
where
Correct word choice
when
show examples
 the highest figure was
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
families
 bought
one
 car. From 1971 to 2007, the share of
families
 owning
one
 vehicle fluctuated slightly but remained
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 a high position.
However
, the number of no-car
families
 dropped dramatically
among
Change preposition
during
show examples
 these years and fell behind
one
-car
households
 in 1975.
Households
 that had two
cars
,
by contrast
, rose significantly during the period and surpassed no-car
households
 in 2003. The figure for
families
pocessing
Correct your spelling
possessing
processing
 three or more
cars
 increased slightly but remained the lowest.
Submitted by dawn140140140140 on

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relevant specific examples
Try to provide more specific data from the graph to support your points. Including exact numbers or percentages can make your argument stronger.
introduction conclusion present
Consider adding a concluding sentence to wrap up your description concisely, summarizing the overall trend or key point.
supported main points
The essay clearly identifies trends and comparisons, such as the consistent comparison between the number of cars per household over the years.
logical structure
The overall structure of the essay is logical, with a clear introduction of the key trends and a detailed body describing the data.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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