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Band 5

Some people say that adversiting is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #attention
In recent times, advertising
is getting
Verb problem
has become
show examples
 more and more important for companies. Some
people
 argue that
this
 is an effective way for businesses to sell their
products
 or services.
However
, some
people
 believe that
people
 are not paying attention to
advertises
Replace the word
advertisements
show examples
 and it is not effective anymore. In
this
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
 I will discuss both views.
Firstly
, there are some arguments that advertising is
successsful
Correct your spelling
successful
 and encourage us to buy
products
 and it can
be find
Change the verb form
be found
show examples
 through the numbers that companies are
invetsing
Correct your spelling
investing
 in advertisements.
This
 will
results
Change the verb form
result
show examples
 in a society with consuming habits that will spend a lot of money on
products
 which companies
advertised
Wrong verb form
advertise
show examples
 them.
On the other hand
, Many individuals believe that
advertises
Replace the word
advertisements
show examples
 are not effective anymore and getting too common
that
Correct word choice
for
show examples
people
automatically
Fix the infinitive
to automatically
show examples
 ignore those
advertisments
Correct your spelling
advertisements
, which could be a result of
repetetive
Correct article usage
the repetetive
show examples
 feelings that they get from
advertises
Replace the word
advertisements
show examples
 and
lack
Correct article usage
the lack
show examples
 of new ideas that are used for
desiging
Correct your spelling
designing
 them. Personally, I believe that advertisement is a key factor in selling
products
 and services and the effect that could have is undeniable.
For instance
, it can be seen that the competition in
this
 industry is rising all the time.
However
, bringing new ideas to the table
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 crucial for advertisers and
obviously
Add a comma
obviously,
show examples
 it is not quite easy to do. All things considered,
although
people
 are no longer paying attention to
advertises
Replace the word
advertisements
show examples
same
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
as before because of the repetitiveness,
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
many
people
 still believe that advertising is an extremely successful way to persuade
people
 to purchase
products
 and services.
Submitted by bahram.azizzade on

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task achievement
Ensure each paragraph clearly supports your main points with specific examples or evidence.
coherence cohesion
Use topic sentences effectively to introduce each paragraph’s main idea and provide a logical progression to the argument.
coherence cohesion
Good introduction and conclusion that frame the discussion well.
task achievement
Presents both sides of the argument effectively with personal opinion included.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • persuade
  • promote
  • attract
  • influence
  • impact
  • consumerism
  • commercialism
  • market
  • product
  • brand
  • endorsement
  • manipulative
  • saturated
  • overwhelmed
  • repetitive
  • distracting
  • irrelevant
  • exaggerated
  • misleading
  • desensitized
What to do next:
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