IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

Task 1 UK Immigration and Emigration Main reason for migration to/from the UK - 2007

#uk #immigration #emigration #reason #migration
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The pie charts compare the percentages of
immigration
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 and
emigration
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 in
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UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 in the
year
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 2007.
Overall
Linking Words
, in the
UK
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 definite
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
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was
Verb problem
had
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 the highest
percentage
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 of
immigration
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,
while
Linking Words
 the
percentage
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 of
emigration
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 formal study from other was lowest in the given
year
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. In terms of definite
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
, the
percentage
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 of definite
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
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increased from
emigration
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 to
immigration
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, from 30 /%
from
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to
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 29% which was
Correct article usage
the hightest
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hightest
Correct your spelling
highest
percentage
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 from others. On the one hand, in the
UK
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immigration
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 formal study
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
rapidly decreased from 26% to 4%. An increase of 22%. Other increased slowly to 11% from 14%.
In addition
Linking Words
,looking for work rise gradually to 12% from 22%, an increase of 10% in the given
year
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.
Fo
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For
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 the remaining,
accompany
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company
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 was gradually down to 15% to 13% in the
year
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 of 2009.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, in the
UK
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Use synonyms
emigration
Add a comma
emigration,
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 no reason stated increased the percentages
of
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from
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 6 to 18 in the
UK
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 during the
year
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of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
2009, an increase of 12%. Which dramatically increased.
Submitted by mdtipusultanakhand on

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coherence cohesion
Work on structuring your essay with clear paragraphs for each main point. This will help in improving logical structure and coherence.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that you present a clear introduction and conclusion to round off your essay.
task achievement
Focus on providing specific data and examples from the charts to support your descriptions and comparisons more effectively.
task achievement
Clarify your ideas further and ensure they are clearly communicated to help achieve a higher score for task response.
task achievement
The essay attempts to compare and contrast the given data on immigration and emigration, which is a good starting point for task response.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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