IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2

Task 1 UK Immigration and Emigration Main reason for migration to/from the UK - 2007

#uk #immigration #emigration #reason #migration
The pie charts compare the percentages of
immigration
 and
emigration
 in
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 in the
year
 2007.
Overall
, in the
UK
 definite
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
was
Verb problem
had
show examples
 the highest
percentage
 of
immigration
,
while
 the
percentage
 of
emigration
 formal study from other was lowest in the given
year
. In terms of definite
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
, the
percentage
 of definite
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
increased from
emigration
 to
immigration
, from 30 /%
from
Change preposition
to
show examples
 29% which was
Correct article usage
the hightest
show examples
hightest
Correct your spelling
highest
percentage
 from others. On the one hand, in the
UK
immigration
 formal study
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
rapidly decreased from 26% to 4%. An increase of 22%. Other increased slowly to 11% from 14%.
In addition
,looking for work rise gradually to 12% from 22%, an increase of 10% in the given
year
.
Fo
Correct your spelling
For
show examples
 the remaining,
accompany
Correct your spelling
company
show examples
 was gradually down to 15% to 13% in the
year
 of 2009.
On the other hand
, in the
UK
emigration
Add a comma
emigration,
show examples
 no reason stated increased the percentages
of
Change preposition
from
show examples
 6 to 18 in the
UK
 during the
year
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
2009, an increase of 12%. Which dramatically increased.
Submitted by mdtipusultanakhand on

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coherence cohesion
Work on structuring your essay with clear paragraphs for each main point. This will help in improving logical structure and coherence.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that you present a clear introduction and conclusion to round off your essay.
task achievement
Focus on providing specific data and examples from the charts to support your descriptions and comparisons more effectively.
task achievement
Clarify your ideas further and ensure they are clearly communicated to help achieve a higher score for task response.
task achievement
The essay attempts to compare and contrast the given data on immigration and emigration, which is a good starting point for task response.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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