Around the world children learn English language as a second language at school. however, in some places they also learn at Kinder garden. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of learning at kinder garden?

There is no denying the fact that in some countries around the
earth
Add a comma
earth,
show examples
kids
do not make
English
as a main
language
at school.
While
it is a commonly held belief that, teachers make
kids
at school learn
English
and make it
second
Correct article usage
a second
show examples
language
, there is
also
an argument that in some areas they
learn
Verb problem
teach
show examples
kids
how to speak
English
as a main
language
.
This
essay will analyse
this
topic from both points of view and express my
opinon
Correct your spelling
opinion
. On the one hand, it is good to learn anything at
young
Add an article
a young
show examples
age
especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
show examples
languages.
In other
words
, many instructors tend to teach their young
students
new
Correct article usage
a new
show examples
language
because they
fell
Correct your spelling
feel
show examples
it is easy to deliver
a new
Correct the article-noun agreement
new words
a new word
show examples
words
.
In addition
,
kids
Change noun form
kids'
kid's
show examples
brain
Fix the agreement mistake
brains
show examples
still
did
Wrong verb form
do
show examples
not get full
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
information so you can say anything and they will save it.
For example
, Cambridge University tend to do
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
research about the age of learning a new
language
, they found that 78% of people who learn
new
Add an article
a new
show examples
language
in
small
Correct word choice
a short
show examples
time are
kids
.
On the other hand
, in some
schools
Add a comma
schools,
show examples
teachers teach their young
students
new
Correct article usage
a new
show examples
language
as a second
language
.
In other
words
, they
fell
Correct your spelling
feel
show examples
that it is not really important to
full
Correct your spelling
fill
show examples
your head
of
Change preposition
with
show examples
new
words
at
young
Add an article
a young
show examples
age because there are many important things to memorise more than
new
Add an article
a new
show examples
language
.
Moreover
, the young
students
may find it hard to speak their main
language
so the teachers will face
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
with
this
.
For instance
, in Saudi Arabia there are many schools
provide
Verb problem
apply
show examples
full of
English
teacher
Fix the agreement mistake
teachers
show examples
just to improve the
students
Change to a genitive case
student's
students'
show examples
language
and the school is full of Saudi
students
, 5 years later,
students
will find it impossible to communicate in Arabic with their
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
because they
raised
Add a missing verb
were raised
show examples
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
with another
language
. In conclusion, there are no easy answers to
this
question. On balance,
however
, I tend to believe that it is really important to learn your main
language
first
then
English
because you will face enormous
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
in the future with communicating with your people.
Submitted by bcynfn159 on

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introduction conclusion present
Introduction is present and provides a basic outline of the essay. However, try to make the thesis statement clearer.
logical structure
Maintain consistent use of tenses (e.g., 'kids do not make English' should be 'kids do not learn English').
supported main points
Expand on points with more specific examples and explanations, particularly in the body paragraphs.
clear comprehensive ideas
Ensure clarity in expressing ideas, and avoid contradictions (e.g., you mention the importance of learning the main language first, but also highlight the benefits of learning English early).
complete response
The essay presents both advantages and disadvantages, which helps in fairly analyzing the topic.
introduction conclusion present
Conclusion effectively summarizes the main points discussed in the essay.
relevant specific examples
Good use of a real-world example (Cambridge University study) helps in supporting the point about children's ability to learn languages.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Bilingualism
  • Cognitive development
  • Pronunciation
  • Fluency
  • Cultural awareness
  • Open-mindedness
  • Social skills
  • Early childhood education
  • Language acquisition
  • Resource intensive
  • Equity
  • Parental concerns
  • Language development
  • Academic performance
  • Career opportunities
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