IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2

1. Many people like to eat unhealthy food even though they know it’s bad for them. Why? What are the most effective ways to improve people’s eating habits?

#people #food #it’s #people’s #habits
Nowadays , many people
are tend
Change the verb form
tend
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 to order unhealthy food from
restaurants
. Fast food
restaurants
in particular
 . despite knowing that it costs them their health, in my opinion
i
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I
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 think all of that comes down to the reason that we are living in fast pace lifestyle and all of that
contribute
Correct subject-verb agreement
contributes
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 to
make
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making
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 individuals
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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more likely to have less patience to cook
Correct your spelling
themselves
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them selves
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themselves
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 a good healthy meal
because
Correct word choice
apply
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why would they do that
while
Correct word choice
when
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 they can have delicious
burger
Fix the agreement mistake
burgers
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,pizza or pasta in
matter
Add an article
a matter
the matter
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 of clicking a button
.
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?
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 which is obviously will contribute
the
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to the
show examples
arise
Correct your spelling
rise
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 of many people relying on fast food and
restaurants
Furthermore
 getting used to eating
a
Correct article usage
apply
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from
restaurants
 will cause high sugar in the blood which will
b
Correct your spelling
cause
 my insulin
spike
Fix the infinitive
to spike
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 later on
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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make
Wrong verb form
making
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 people addicted to the taste and the high dopamine level that eating
has provide
Wrong verb form
provides
show examples
 So they got eager to get back and consume more and order more and so on,and the cycle repeats itself One of the prime solutions
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introduction conclusion present
Improve the structure by clearly separating the introduction, main body, and conclusion. Add a conclusive paragraph to summarize the points discussed.
logical structure
Enhance the logical flow of ideas within and between paragraphs. Ensure each paragraph has one main idea and clear linking sentences.
relevant specific examples
Provide more specific examples and explanations to support the points made, such as studies or statistics on the impact of fast food consumption.
task achievement
The essay rightly identifies that fast-paced lifestyles contribute to unhealthy eating habits.
coherence cohesion
The use of casual language in parts of the essay makes the message relatable to readers.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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