Some people say history is one of the most important school subjects. Othe people think that in today's world subjects like science and technology are more important than history. Discuss both points and give your opinion

One
of the most controversial topics
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
education today relates to whether
history
is
one
of the top priority
subjects
or whether the importance of other
subjects
such
as science and technology outweighs that of
history
. In
this
essay, I elaborate on
both
views and describe the reasons why I believe
both
subjects
are equally indispensable. On
one
side of the argument, there are some individuals who claim that
history
should be prioritised over other school
subjects
for several reasons. The primary
one
is that
history
repeats. By learning
historical
Change preposition
about historical
show examples
incidents and their backgrounds,
students
will be able to try to prevent undesirable events in the future. Another justification is that they can establish their identity through learning their own
history
.
For instance
, as current relationships between nations are based on past events and how they reacted
them
Change preposition
to them
show examples
,
students
will obtain
profound
Add an article
a profound
show examples
understanding of themselves and global issues at once.
On the other hand
, others argue that in
this
fast-dveloping
Correct your spelling
fast-developing
society, other scientific
subjects
should be
put
Verb problem
given
show examples
priority rather than
history
.
That is
because science and technology are likely to improve the world
although
history
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
not. A good illustration is global warming. If
students
assimilate
ecpertise
Correct your spelling
expertise
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
green technology, they will contribute to
lessen
Change the verb form
lessening
show examples
the environmental burdens.
Additionally
, they will have more chances of obtaining better jobs when completing scientific
subjects
. As mechanics and scientists are in great demand now, they will have advantages in job markets.
Conversely
, those who studied
history
have narrow choices if they want to utilize their knowledge. In conclusion,
both
views are rational. As I cannot judge which view
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
more
benefiital
Correct your spelling
beneficial
both
to
students
and society, I
beliece
Correct your spelling
believe
that they should be taught
both
subjects
equally. With a skewed viewpoint, citizens will not be able to cherish others and
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
have
future-oriented
Correct article usage
a future-oriented
show examples
perspective.
Submitted by takuya13sugimoto on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Aim to provide more specific examples and evidence to strengthen your argument. For instance, when discussing the benefits of science and technology, you can mention specific innovations or trends that have improved lives.
coherence cohesion
There are a few language inaccuracies (e.g., "dveloping" instead of "developing", "beliece" instead of "believe"). Be sure to proofread to avoid such errors.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a strong introduction and conclusion, framing your argument clearly and summarizing your stance effectively.
task achievement
You've successfully presented both sides of the argument, showing a balanced perspective on the importance of history versus science and technology.
coherence cohesion
Your main points are logically structured, demonstrating clear transitions from one argument to the next.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • insights into
  • past events
  • comprehensive understanding
  • informed citizenship
  • appreciate different cultures
  • critical thinking skills
  • analyzing sources
  • globalized world
  • contextualize current events
  • global challenges
  • advancement and innovation
  • fast-evolving
  • digital world
  • improved quality of life
  • analytical skills
  • problem-solving skills
  • career development
  • technological literacy
  • digitalization
  • automation
  • transform industries
What to do next:
Look at other essays: