IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#children #difference #right #age #punishment #distinction
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Parenting is hard to ask because as a parent we all want our
children's
Unnecessary verb
children
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 to grow to be an amazing
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
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. In order to raise them well, we must teach them what is right and wrong at an early age. If
children
 can learn to differentiate
this
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from this
show examples
, they will surely be
a
Correct article usage
apply
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fine
adult
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adults
show examples
 in the future and we as
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
parent
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parents
show examples
 will feel insured. The reason why we want to educate our
children
children
 about behavior
since
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from
show examples
 an early age has many factors.
First
Add a comma
First,
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 if we can imbue a good habit for a long period, that behavior will be hard to change as it has become a habit.
Second,
there
are
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is
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 more room for trial and error when we educate them longer, allowing for improvement for both parents and their little ones. To help them learn what is good and bad,
punishment
 is required.
This
 is what is called
as
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apply
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reinforcement learning. Reward and
Punishment
 can encourage
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
 to follow certain rules that will lead to a desired outcome. Without those,
children
 can't learn the distinction. A reward will motivate a child to always do the right things,
whereas
 a
punishment
 will discourage him or her
to do
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from doing
show examples
 bad things as it will result it to
a consequences
Correct the article-noun agreement
consequences
a consequence
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 that will bring discomfort. Every listing
being
Unnecessary verb
apply
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whether it is a human or an animal would never want to be in
a
Correct article usage
an
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 discomfort situation.
However
, there is an extent to what sort of punishments as allowed. Physical contact is not tolerable. Parents and teachers are advised to never try
this
.
Punishment
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Punishments
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such
 as detention or
limit
Wrong verb form
limiting
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 their play time are more suitable for
children
 nowadays because it mimics the
real life
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real-life
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 situation. In summary, educating
children
 by giving them
reward
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rewards
show examples
 and
Punishment
since
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from
show examples
 an early age is highly encouraged as it brings many benefits to both
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the patent
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patent
Correct your spelling
patient
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 and
that
Correct determiner usage
the
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 offspring.
In addition
, be considered
to
Change preposition
as to
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 what form of
punishment
 is appropriate for your child.
Submitted by riani.the2 on

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task achievement
Consider using more precise examples to illustrate your points regarding the effects of punishment and rewards.
task achievement
Work on expanding paragraphs to fully develop ideas, with more detailed explanations or examples where necessary.
coherence cohesion
Try to maintain logical flow and connection between ideas to enhance coherence across the essay.
coherence cohesion
Proofread for grammatical accuracy and word choice to improve clarity.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear opinion on the topic promptly, establishing the stance on child education with punishment.
coherence cohesion
Both introduction and conclusion are present, summarizing viewpoints and reiterating the stance effectively.
task achievement
The discussion of reinforcement learning adds depth to the reasoning behind using punishment, connecting psychological theories to child education.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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