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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table below shows local catches and imports of fresh fish into Perth, Australia for the years 2004 - 2014. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The table below shows local catches and imports of fresh fish into Perth, Australia for the years 2004 - 2014. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#imports #fish #perth #australia #years #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The table depicts changes over
ten-year
Add an article
a ten-year
show examples
period
Use synonyms
 in local and imports of garden-fresh
fish
Use synonyms
 into
perth
Change the capitalization
Perth
show examples
, Australia between 2004 and 2014.
Numbers
Use synonyms
 are in metric tons.
Overall
Linking Words
, The country has
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
caught
Use synonyms
fish
Correct quantifier usage
more fish
show examples
 locally than imported every year from outside, it always
keep
Change the verb form
keeps
show examples
 low in
numbers
Use synonyms
 since
local
Correct article usage
the local
show examples
 market
caught
Wrong verb form
catches
show examples
highest
Correct article usage
the highest
show examples
consumable
Correct quantifier usage
number of consumable
show examples
fish
Use synonyms
 every ten-year
period
Use synonyms
. The highest metric tons in both categories
illustrated
Add a missing verb
were illustrated
show examples
separatelly
Correct your spelling
separately
 as local and imported
fish
Use synonyms
 in 2008 and 2012.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, most
numbers
Use synonyms
 displayed in
local
Correct article usage
the local
show examples
 market and it started
over
Change preposition
at over
show examples
 2500 metric tons in 2004, each year increased gradually until peaked at approximately 8100 in 2008. Afterwards, those
numbers
Use synonyms
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
decreased
through-out
Correct your spelling
throughout
show examples
rest
Correct article usage
the rest
show examples
 of
years
Correct article usage
the years
show examples
 and
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 stood at over 5000 in 2014.
In contrast
Linking Words
,
import
Correct article usage
the import
show examples
Use synonyms
fish
Change preposition
of fish
show examples
 into
perth
Change the capitalization
Perth
show examples
 started
nearly
Change preposition
at nearly
show examples
 465 in 2004 and it
flactuated
Correct your spelling
fluctuated
fluctuates
 over
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
 four-year
period
Use synonyms
.
Then
Linking Words
 it rose sharply
1104.1
Change preposition
to 1104.1
show examples
, 1203.7 in both 2009 and 2010.
This
Linking Words
 trend always varied and where imports reached
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 highest point of 1227.3 in 2012. In total
fish
Use synonyms
 consumption data showed a significant rise until it peaked
over
Change preposition
at over
show examples
 8900 in 2009,
then
Linking Words
 it fell slightly over the rest of the
period
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by keranda.sac on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words period, fish, numbers with synonyms.
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